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Saturday 2 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that my wife has been searching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML

#20487689
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32938) - you deserved it (3283)

On 01/31/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by papersofdivorce (man) - Peru (Lima)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

#20491476
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43061) - you deserved it (5172)

On 02/03/2013 at 11:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Serbia

Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML

#20485916
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12567) - you deserved it (57029)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I bought a fish. I put the tank on top of the fridge so my cat wouldn't get at it. I'd forgotten to buy some things for its tank, so I quickly ran out to get them. When I got home, I saw the tank destroyed on the floor, and my cat devouring my fish. I had the fish for less than an hour. FML

#20497647
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16545) - you deserved it (26041)

On 02/07/2013 at 10:58pm - animals - by fish killer - Canada

Today, I found out my mother has enough toys to open a sex shop. FML

#20499258
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44187) - you deserved it (5658)

On 02/09/2013 at 7:00am - intimacy - by Lois - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

#20493004
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56217) - you deserved it (3676)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to drive to my workplace in blizzard conditions. Now that my 12 hour shift is over, I can't get out of the building, as the snow has blown into large drifts in front of the doors. I have to stay overnight until my next 12 hour shift. FML

Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML

#20485077
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33359) - you deserved it (8745)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:56pm - health - by fatty milkshakes - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. This is the same guy who refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too much right now." FML

#20487239
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34275) - you deserved it (5483)

On 01/31/2013 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I hurt my back while exercising. I can't bend over or lift my arms above my head without intense pain. My husband, however, finds my situation hilarious and has moved everything I use frequently to either the floor or high shelf. He giggles every time I try to retrieve anything. FML

Today, I had a ride along in an ambulance. Being observant, I thought it was funny that a patient had to vomit. That was until I realized they couldn't control where they had to vomit. I spent the rest of the ambulance ride holding a vomit bag in front of the woman's face. Not so funny anymore. FML

#20497764
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7156) - you deserved it (52628)

On 02/08/2013 at 12:45am - work - by Kybo5 - United States (California)

Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML

#20489333
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30590) - you deserved it (8900)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:53pm - misc - by VMV (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)



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