Sunday 27 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, the last customer of the night shift handed me their money along with a wad of their hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19576) - you deserved it (1435)
On 01/29/2013 at 11:39am - work - by imwithapples22 (man) - United States
Today, a male employee at a shoe shop helped me try on shoes. Once I found a pair, I went to pay for them. I was telling the cashier about how great of an employee he was when she told me there were no male employees. A guy with a foot fetish helped me find shoes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31137) - you deserved it (2888)
On 02/02/2013 at 6:21am - misc - by footfetish - Australia (Queensland)
Today, while reading in the bath, I accidentally switched the shower on. Not wanting my book to get soaked, I threw it out of the tub. When I got out of the tub later, I found it had landed squarely in the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22312) - you deserved it (8202)
On 01/26/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by stelssy (woman) - United States
Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37915) - you deserved it (3967)
On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25617) - you deserved it (3125)
On 01/30/2013 at 2:03am - kids - by idislikeblanks (man) - United States (California)
Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27387) - you deserved it (1943)
On 01/23/2013 at 12:45pm - misc - by mariama (woman) - United States
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25664) - you deserved it (3056)
On 01/27/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20191) - you deserved it (1836)
On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my fiancé's mother came up to me and told me she loves that I stuck with my soon-to-be husband despite his history and condition. I have no idea what she's talking about, and she refuses to tell me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22763) - you deserved it (1672)
On 01/29/2013 at 5:46pm - love - by Aspireworks - United States
Today, I decided at age 18 that it's time to put into storage the picture books that have been collecting dust in my room for nearly a decade. My mother took this as a sign that I'm planning to move out and abandon her forever, and has been crying for the last four hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20788) - you deserved it (1548)
On 02/02/2013 at 7:52pm - kids - by NeverEscaping (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7779) - you deserved it (25041)
On 01/24/2013 at 2:53pm - misc - by idiot (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26005) - you deserved it (2556)
On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I found out my best friend has been stealing hundreds of dollars from me and my fiancé. My wedding is tomorrow morning. Guess who my best man is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25129) - you deserved it (2068)
On 01/28/2013 at 4:01pm - love - by weddingsalwayssuck - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
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