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Sunday 27 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML

#20491836
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11917) - you deserved it (30057)

On 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed and suggested I get a thesaurus. FML

#20485855
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28893) - you deserved it (2385)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:52am - health - by Miss Blairgowrie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a male employee at a shoe shop helped me try on shoes. Once I found a pair, I went to pay for them. I was telling the cashier about how great of an employee he was when she told me there were no male employees. A guy with a foot fetish helped me find shoes. FML

#20489969
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38437) - you deserved it (4170)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:21am - misc - by footfetish - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML

#20481357
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28045) - you deserved it (2142)

On 01/27/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by dynah114 (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I dragged my boyfriend to see Les Misérables with me. He now refuses to communicate with me through any medium other than singing. Apparently, this is his revenge. FML

#20471580
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16152) - you deserved it (46515)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by lesson.learned (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart and it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML

#20477938
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31357) - you deserved it (4050)

On 01/25/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by really?!? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, "Don't care, let's keep going." FML

#20484366
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45815) - you deserved it (4534)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Awkward... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving around with a few friends when one of them suggested we go in to an insurance company's office and sing their jingle. I'm an awful singer, so I was planning on lip syncing. Everyone else had the same idea. FML

#20487138
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10880) - you deserved it (33617)

On 01/31/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom accused me of stealing money from her purse. Being totally innocent, I reminded her that the only other person with access to it is her boyfriend. She said she trusts him because she loves him. They've been dating for 2 months. I've been her daughter for 25 years. FML

#20491987
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39057) - you deserved it (2154)

On 02/03/2013 at 7:26pm - money - by :/ (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

#20471171
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32972) - you deserved it (7572)

On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a lady who had fainted. I ran over to help, only to find out that she was unstable and had a knife in her hand. She was pointing it at me, and growled threateningly every time I tried to move away. It took the cops an hour to defuse the situation. FML

#20484368
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33769) - you deserved it (2414)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:48am - misc - by thegirlofthedad (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I made my first snowman ever, and then cried when my big brother kicked it to pieces. I'm 27. FML

#20475358
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30764) - you deserved it (9471)

On 01/23/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy bears explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

#20471562
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31016) - you deserved it (3553)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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