Sunday 27 January 2013 
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Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, "Don't care, let's keep going." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34017) - you deserved it (2323)
On 01/29/2013 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Awkward... (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8604) - you deserved it (19112)
On 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, my mom accused me of stealing money from her purse. Being totally innocent, I reminded her that the only other person with access to it is her boyfriend. She said she trusts him because she loves him. They've been dating for 2 months. I've been her daughter for 25 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31383) - you deserved it (1399)
On 02/03/2013 at 7:26pm - money - by :/ (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20673) - you deserved it (2239)
On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I saw a lady who had fainted. I ran over to help, only to find out that she was unstable and had a knife in her hand. She was pointing it at me, and growled threateningly every time I tried to move away. It took the cops an hour to defuse the situation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27825) - you deserved it (1582)
On 01/29/2013 at 4:48am - misc - by thegirlofthedad (woman) - India (Maharashtra)
Today, I was driving around with a few friends when one of them suggested we go in to an insurance company's office and sing their jingle. I'm an awful singer, so I was planning on lip syncing. Everyone else had the same idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9055) - you deserved it (28937)
On 01/31/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19500) - you deserved it (3435)
On 01/31/2013 at 4:07am - misc - by Why Me? (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26957) - you deserved it (5683)
On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24530) - you deserved it (2888)
On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24860) - you deserved it (3615)
On 01/22/2013 at 6:39am - kids - by dani0810 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I dragged my boyfriend to see Les Misérables with me. He now refuses to communicate with me through any medium other than singing. Apparently, this is his revenge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11646) - you deserved it (33661)
On 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by lesson.learned (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22215) - you deserved it (1722)
On 01/27/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by dynah114 (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)
Today, I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed and suggested I get a thesaurus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22696) - you deserved it (1487)
On 01/30/2013 at 2:52am - health - by Miss Blairgowrie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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