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Sunday 27 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom went to court to finalize her divorce. I would have felt sorry for her, had this not been her 7th husband. FML

#20476021
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37217) - you deserved it (2943)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by HereWeGoAgain (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

#20475517
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35933) - you deserved it (5945)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41058) - you deserved it (2699)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32426) - you deserved it (3934)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML

#20492131
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45259) - you deserved it (4875)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by jdrew32 - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I told my parents that what I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, and have been wanting for months. They laughed and said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone and perhaps you'll become normal." FML

#20488681
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36523) - you deserved it (9455)

On 02/01/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by HistoryFreak (woman) - France

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

#20477547
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46632) - you deserved it (4594)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

#20481657
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42971) - you deserved it (8338)

On 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

#20484951
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35882) - you deserved it (4968) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML

#20485916
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12842) - you deserved it (57917)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

#20480699
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35482) - you deserved it (3654)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)

Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

#20475894
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18352) - you deserved it (32878)

On 01/24/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by steven - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

#20491476
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43946) - you deserved it (5254)

On 02/03/2013 at 11:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Serbia



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