Choose the period

Friday 25 January 2013

Choose a category

Agreed
Commented
Favorited

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

by awkwardturtle / 01/25/2013 at 12:31am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, a cyclone hit my city. Though everywhere else is flooding, my house is fine. Well, that was until the toilet decided to overflow and regurgitate the entire town's sewerage. So now my only bathroom is covered in sewage, and I can't go anywhere else because of the flooding. FML

by shitday / 01/27/2013 at 6:47pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2013 at 11:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I received a birthday present from a friend. It was the very same gift I gave to her for Christmas. FML

by thrifty gone wrong / 01/28/2013 at 12:24pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother "checked in" to rehab on Facebook. The same rehab that told her to hand over her smartphone. The dumbass was smart enough to steal my phone and dumb enough to get it confiscated. FML

by motherless / 01/29/2013 at 10:18pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, my boss put me on suspension for violating company policy by having non-work related mail in my inbox. They were spam emails. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2013 at 8:04pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, most of my neighbours came to my house in an angry mob to complain about my dog barking. I don't have a dog. FML

by Angry Mob / 02/01/2013 at 1:09am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I was chatting with my choir leader. I told him that I have been thinking about taking singing lessons. His immediate reaction was, "Thank god, finally!" FML

by sdd / 01/23/2013 at 10:44am / Switzerland (Bern) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML

by theawfulpresent / 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML

by peteswentzbass / 01/26/2013 at 12:18pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals

Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML

by FUCK THE PIGS / 01/26/2013 at 3:44pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML

by 3some? uh, no / 02/01/2013 at 2:59pm / Dominican Republic / Love

Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2013 at 7:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals