Thursday 24 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20194) - you deserved it (1836)
On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my fiancé's mother came up to me and told me she loves that I stuck with my soon-to-be husband despite his history and condition. I have no idea what she's talking about, and she refuses to tell me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22763) - you deserved it (1672)
On 01/29/2013 at 5:46pm - love - by Aspireworks - United States
Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7779) - you deserved it (25044)
On 01/24/2013 at 2:53pm - misc - by idiot (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26005) - you deserved it (2557)
On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I found out my best friend has been stealing hundreds of dollars from me and my fiancé. My wedding is tomorrow morning. Guess who my best man is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25132) - you deserved it (2068)
On 01/28/2013 at 4:01pm - love - by weddingsalwayssuck - United States (New York)
Today, while checking out a couple at work, I handed them their receipt and wished them a good day. The woman promptly pulled her husband to the side, and whispered to him about how much of a "fucking idiot" I was for making the prices so high. I work at McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22209) - you deserved it (1689)
On 01/31/2013 at 11:06pm - work - by stupidapperently (woman) - United States
Today, it's been two days since my upstairs neighbour's toilet started flooding both our apartments. I have to go to the bathroom with an umbrella. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23766) - you deserved it (1580) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/21/2013 at 3:24pm - misc - by normal - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, I thought maybe I should go to my doctor because my hips crack every time I take a step. But she's also my recently ex-boyfriend's mom, so I have to choose between being in constant pain or having my doctor poke at my hips while asking me why I'm no longer dating her son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21139) - you deserved it (4995)
On 01/21/2013 at 9:41pm - health - by ouch (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)
Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23361) - you deserved it (5244)
On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22739) - you deserved it (4453)
On 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbed my inhaler and took a puff. This was probably very disturbing for the earwig which had somehow made my puffer its home, as I discovered when it shot into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24432) - you deserved it (2022)
On 01/25/2013 at 1:30am - health - by asthmattack (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while at the gym, my boyfriend wouldn't stop texting me. I was confident enough to text while on the treadmill. Bad idea: I hit myself on the bar and tripped in front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7711) - you deserved it (24642)
On 01/22/2013 at 1:50am - love - by Roxy19 - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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