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Monday 21 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom went to court to finalize her divorce. I would have felt sorry for her, had this not been her 7th husband. FML

#20476021
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36249) - you deserved it (2888)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by HereWeGoAgain (woman) - United States

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38717) - you deserved it (2543)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31592) - you deserved it (3848)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had lunch with an attractive foreign exchange student from Dresden. After bombarding her with questions about Russia, she smiled and kindly told me that Dresden is in Germany. Everyone laughed. FML

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

#20477547
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45718) - you deserved it (4522)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

#20478409
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37589) - you deserved it (5456)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

#20481657
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39325) - you deserved it (7916)

On 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

#20480699
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34708) - you deserved it (3595)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)

Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

#20475894
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17970) - you deserved it (32161)

On 01/24/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by steven - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

#20475517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35049) - you deserved it (5841)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I told my boyfriend about my upcoming mouth surgery. He freaked out. Not because he's worried about me, but because I told him I will not be able to give him head for two weeks. FML

Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML

#20474869
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34813) - you deserved it (3979)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:44pm - love - by Stickysituation - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML

#20472998
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33790) - you deserved it (3790)

On 01/22/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by SonofDonald (man) - United States



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