Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 20 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect , who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him , my mind went totally blank , and after a few seconds , he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

#20464395
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30308) - you deserved it (14548)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend's mom bought us matching purity rings. FML

#20470370
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30590) - you deserved it (5340)

On 01/20/2013 at 10:55pm - love - by airrinw_33 - United States (Mississippi)

Today..!! I Was On A Ladder At Work..!! Fetching Some Stock From One Of The Storage Shelves!! Some Teenage Kid Thought It Would Be Fucking Hilarious To Grab The Ladder And Violently Shake It!! He Hadn't Bet On Me Bieng Startld Enough To Fall Off And Fracture Mah Elbow On The Floor!! FML

#20481589
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32851) - you deserved it (2100)

On 01/27/2013 at 4:59pm - health - by fucking teen cunts (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at a party with my crush. Tha collar on his shrt was sticking up so I fixad it fir him. Ha gava ma a hug and said, "Aww you'ra so good to ma. You'ra lika my mothar. You can ba my collaga mothar." I got mothar-zonad. fat FML

#20458655
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47822) - you deserved it (5754)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:56am - love - by shiney100893 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, mah school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML

#20474800
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31167) - you deserved it (5172)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today Both My Brother An Sister Missd My Wedding. She Was Playing In A Call Of Duty Tournament An He Got So High That He Forgot About The Wedding Completely. He Was My Best Man.

#20458912
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46701) - you deserved it (3347)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family . She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decidd to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills . She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid . FML

#20462590
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40487) - you deserved it (3409)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

TODAY, I HELD A DOOR OPEN 4 A SWEET OLD LADY WITH A WALKER. AFTER SHE WENT THROUGH THE DOOR, SHE TURNED AND SAID, "THAT'S NOT HOW YOU'RE GONNA GET INTO MY PANTS, SON." FML

#20466086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35617) - you deserved it (3708)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today.. . I told my mom wa gat Monday off dua to Martin Luthar King Jr . day . Sha than insistd that I had to looool go to school bacausa that is "only 4 black paopla." FML

#20461178
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36695) - you deserved it (2605)

On 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm - misc - by Sydney - United States (Texas)

Today, I was discussing with mah husband how it was time I stoppd taking birth control so we could have a baby. He lookd at me an said sincerely, ( We're a little young to be having kids, don't you think? ). He's 35 an I'm 32. FML

#20469230
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33797) - you deserved it (4780)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:13am - love - by StillTooYoung (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I let my friend bleach my hair, which resultd in it falling out in clumps. I spent $150 at the beauty salon fixing it an cutting most of it off. I sent the pictures of my new hair to my friends, an I got the same reply from each an every one of them: "That better be a wig." FML

#20463998
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18147) - you deserved it (27476)

On 01/17/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by goodlord12 (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to a family dinner . My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut fir not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me . No wonder I hardly ever visit these people . FML

#20466682
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39622) - you deserved it (2706)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:18pm - misc - by mel (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, Mah Hubby Asked 4 A Morning Blow Job, An I Happily Obliged. All Was Going Great Until He Came An Farted At The Same Time. I Laughed An Reassured Him It Was No Big Deal. He Cried. FML

#20470929
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48863) - you deserved it (5876)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: