Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 20 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

#20480667
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33941) - you deserved it (18194)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by LucidNightmare - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28998) - you deserved it (4313)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

#20473479
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41905) - you deserved it (2690)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to my relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and my new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML

#20460941
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15628) - you deserved it (44991)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:53pm - love - by George - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML

#20462057
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40768) - you deserved it (3010)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:36am - health - by Ari (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML

#20469621
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38923) - you deserved it (4080)

On 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by maybe dead in a day (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML

#20476700
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42507) - you deserved it (3097)

On 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by frozensolid (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40544) - you deserved it (4167)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

#20464395
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33571) - you deserved it (15647)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

#20470929
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53106) - you deserved it (6304)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower and his phone was buzzing with calls and texts. Concerned as his nan is in ICU, I picked it up to find he's been secretly sexting his ex-girlfriend. FML

#20474595
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51620) - you deserved it (5901)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:57am - intimacy - by heartbroken (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML

#20462226
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34348) - you deserved it (6785)

On 01/16/2013 at 5:48am - health - by ChubbyButt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom had the option of choosing anywhere in the world where we could go on vacation. We live in the USA and she chose to fly to Texas, rent an RV, and drive to Florida. Anywhere in the world. FML

#20482339
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35739) - you deserved it (3158)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:48pm - misc - by j_Lauren (woman) - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: