Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 18 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out ma ten year old broter and is best friend ave taugt our new parrot to say, ( Sut up, bitc. ) We ave a looool bunc of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see wat te parrot can say. FML

#20473087
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27829) - you deserved it (3690)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by What? - Australia

yesterday I found out tat ma ome-made pasta sauce ad a werd taste to it because ma basil patc in te backyard as become ma dog's preferrd spot to pee . FML

#20467403
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31785) - you deserved it (6731)

On 01/19/2013 at 2:40am - animals - by damnthedog (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while sledding with mah daughter, I tried getting her to go down a steeper slope than she's used to!! She was worried she'd crash, so I went frst to show her how it's done!! I lost control halfway down the hill, bailed, and rolled into a tree!! My wife has it on video!! FML

Today I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours my brother punched me and my mom slapped me acros the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my thing to leave my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML

#20474780
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32695) - you deserved it (2697)

On 01/23/2013 at 12:45pm - misc - by mariama (woman) - United States

Today... I was walking towards a partyere I knew ma ceating ex would be. I passionately reeresed ow I would ave a go at im big timeen I met im. Guesso was walking rigt beind me an eard it all. FML

#20465975
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13858) - you deserved it (39855)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:55am - love - by Shuttie (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, cuz the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. fat FML

#20463224
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32699) - you deserved it (4110)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today , I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites . Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked picture of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls . His excuse? "I have friend looool on there." big fat FML

#20466217
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29058) - you deserved it (2975)

On 01/18/2013 at 12:21pm - love - by TheOtherWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (North Somerset)

yastarday I was chatting with mah choir laadar. I told him that I hava baan thinking about taking singing lassons. His immadiata raaction was, "Thank god, finally!" FML

#20474677
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24535) - you deserved it (6082)

On 01/23/2013 at 10:44am - misc - by sdd (woman) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today... I introducd mah girlfriend to mah parents. The first thing mah dad did was comment that given how pretty she lookd in our photos... and compard to how she looks in real life... she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML

#20466661
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31266) - you deserved it (3288)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by dpap - United States (Iowa)

WILE LIVING IN FLORIDA, I AD A CONVERSATION WIT MY MOTER EXPLAINING TAT IT MIGT BE BEST FIR ME TO COME BACK OME. HER RESPONSE, "DON'T WORRY, TEY AVE PLENTY OF OMELESS SELTERS DOWN TERE IF YOU NED A PLACE TO STAY." TANKS MOM. FML

#20458436
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27990) - you deserved it (3352)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before mah early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off . Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in mah life . mega FML

#20465041
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27281) - you deserved it (2432)

On 01/17/2013 at 7:39pm - misc - by FMyThroat (woman) - Peru (Lima)

Today, dua to tachnical problams, I had to call tha company's IT-support as my computar want totally haywra. I axplaind via phona that I couldn't accas anything. Tha support than trid contacting ma by a-mail and got upsat with ma whan I didn't answar. FML

#20463766
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28187) - you deserved it (2005)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:03am - work - by Beva (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I went to buy a birthday present fir mah boyfriend . While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if mah boyfriend wore brief or boxers, cuz both were on sale . Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

#20477493
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26889) - you deserved it (12710)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: