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Wednesday 16 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

#20468586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27070) - you deserved it (8934)

On 01/19/2013 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

#20463921
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32825) - you deserved it (3384)

On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)

Today, my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend got into a fight about when my birthday is. They were both wrong. FML

#20464240
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41920) - you deserved it (5189)

On 01/17/2013 at 9:06am - love - by EmberLove (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML

#20465100
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34913) - you deserved it (9784)

On 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by jakeeey - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML

#20458570
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33744) - you deserved it (7861)

On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up following one of the worst nightmares of my life. I was sweating, clutching the sheets, and feeling sick to the stomach. I'd been dreaming of my wedding that's taking place next week. FML

#20468290
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29986) - you deserved it (6525)

On 01/19/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

#20472773
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30174) - you deserved it (2622)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was upset because my brother, who I'm very close to, didn't call me for my birthday yesterday. I told my mom about it, and we both immediately went silent on the phone, as we both realized she forgot to call me yesterday as well. FML

#20474927
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43215) - you deserved it (3486)

On 01/23/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by birthday_loser (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

#20473479
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38295) - you deserved it (2412)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML

#20473717
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27148) - you deserved it (2176)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

#20472782
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32028) - you deserved it (5136)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:39am - kids - by dani0810 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML

#20469816
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30399) - you deserved it (4690)

On 01/20/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML

#20459773
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31587) - you deserved it (9570)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm - kids - by IvyLeague? - United States (New York)



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