Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 13 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , I hava savara back pain that is only raliavd by lying flat on my bd. I also hava acid raflux that is only pravantd by sitting straight up. FML

#20453200
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38717) - you deserved it (2549)

On 01/11/2013 at 3:03am - health - by Kftc88 - United States (California)

Today...hile having sex with my grlfriend on the bathroom floor... I felt something tickle my balls. I lookd back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my frst threesome. FML

#20456674
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46630) - you deserved it (7952)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I let my friend bleach my hair, which resultd in it falling out in clumps. I spent $150 at the beauty salon fixing it an cutting most of it off. I sent the pictures of my new hair to my friends, an I got the same reply from each an every one of them: "That better be a wig." FML

#20463998
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18147) - you deserved it (27476)

On 01/17/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by goodlord12 (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to a family dinner . My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut fir not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me . No wonder I hardly ever visit these people . FML

#20466682
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39622) - you deserved it (2706)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:18pm - misc - by mel (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today... I attended my aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent te first quarter of an our nieter grieving nor celebrating er life... but wining tat te "cute" clots my aunt was dressed in could ave been anded down to er... instead of looool bieng "wasted". FML

Today, I caught mah boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Grls in yoga pants" site. He saw mah expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid mah junk so they'll think it's a chick!" real FML

#20451178
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39260) - you deserved it (5392)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Amy (woman) - United States

Today... a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted... "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

#20459715
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34970) - you deserved it (3735)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today , I was walking out of mah grlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I pickd it up , sniffd it and put it on mah face as a joke. She replid with , ( Those are mah mother's. ) FML

#20461976
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12377) - you deserved it (48089)

On 01/16/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Taday mah dad was helping me move mah stuff out. I'd askd mah boyfriend to deal with mah sex toys an lingerie, but still mah dad showd up later at mah new place, handd me a box full of them all, an simply said, ( I don't want to know. )

#20454623
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21641) - you deserved it (36566)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nean83 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

#20468586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26980) - you deserved it (8923)

On 01/19/2013 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work looool at a middle school. I've worked here 4 the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough 4 my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35888) - you deserved it (2780)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States

Today... I was having a conversation with mah mother during which I describd something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word... so I grabbd the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enragd... threw the dictionary at mah head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

#20463921
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31030) - you deserved it (3227)

On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work . All it said was, ( Need a fuck looool . Backed up to hell . You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant . ) Love you too, hun . FML

#20466497
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31443) - you deserved it (5389)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: