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Sunday 13 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML

#20469816
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28014) - you deserved it (4440)

On 01/20/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML

#20465397
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31771) - you deserved it (2117)

On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after working the midnight shift at my job, I thought it would be nice to leave a sweet love note along with my boyfriend's favourite candy in his car. Upon finding it, he immediately broke up with me for "breaking into" his car. FML

#20460414
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30569) - you deserved it (4713)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:14am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing my neighbor snore through my apartment wall. FML

Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML

#20459773
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29666) - you deserved it (9244)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm - kids - by IvyLeague? - United States (New York)

Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML

#20461359
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31362) - you deserved it (2790)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by veggieluver (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, one of my paintings was accepted into a local art gallery. It would've been a dream come true, had my "best friend" not submitted it under her own name and taken all the credit. FML

#20453750
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37572) - you deserved it (2623)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML

#20456813
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30180) - you deserved it (4622)

On 01/13/2013 at 7:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, the lead singer of the band I recently joined blatantly admitted to a fan that the only reason he let me in was because I'm "so fuckin' ugly" that I make the rest of them look "ten times better" in comparison. FML

#20464662
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30006) - you deserved it (2579)

On 01/17/2013 at 3:50pm - misc - by sad drummer (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML

#20456974
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37961) - you deserved it (4782)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by Mary - Czech Republic

Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

#20464089
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28416) - you deserved it (8773)

On 01/17/2013 at 5:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML

#20465228
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14971) - you deserved it (32543)

On 01/17/2013 at 9:31pm - kids - by walkingdictionary - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, a little girl came in and asked if we had any dance clothes. As I showed her, I asked if she was in a competition. When she said yes, I crossed my fingers and told her I hoped she would win. Unfortunately, I didn't cross them properly and I accidentally gave her the finger. FML



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