Sunday 13 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26599) - you deserved it (6889)
On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33063) - you deserved it (4313)
On 01/13/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by Mary - Czech Republic
Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29511) - you deserved it (2562)
On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States
Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25387) - you deserved it (3454)
On 01/13/2013 at 7:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23298) - you deserved it (6685)
On 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm - kids - by IvyLeague? - United States (New York)
Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25599) - you deserved it (1277)
On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)
Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23992) - you deserved it (8105)
On 01/17/2013 at 5:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, at work, a little girl came in and asked if we had any dance clothes. As I showed her, I asked if she was in a competition. When she said yes, I crossed my fingers and told her I hoped she would win. Unfortunately, I didn't cross them properly and I accidentally gave her the finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8918) - you deserved it (20440)
On 01/09/2013 at 5:42am - work - by georgiamarshall_ - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, one of my paintings was accepted into a local art gallery. It would've been a dream come true, had my "best friend" not submitted it under her own name and taken all the credit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32060) - you deserved it (1915)
On 01/11/2013 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25734) - you deserved it (1832)
On 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by veggieluver (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing my neighbor snore through my apartment wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22220) - you deserved it (2657)
On 01/13/2013 at 2:24am - love - by LilRedRiding_27 - United States (California)
Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25427) - you deserved it (3288)
On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43575) - you deserved it (4295)
On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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