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Friday 11 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while at work, a Beatles song came on the radio. I jokingly said, "These guys are pretty good, are they new?" Everyone thought I was being serious, and now they're convinced I'm an idiot. FML

#20446711
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12814) - you deserved it (22635)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by EffUrEll - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML

#20458570
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26821) - you deserved it (6922)

On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21326) - you deserved it (5158)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML

#20456974
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33134) - you deserved it (4316)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by Mary - Czech Republic

Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML

#20465397
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25717) - you deserved it (1280)

On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29556) - you deserved it (2564)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML

#20456813
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26122) - you deserved it (4192)

On 01/13/2013 at 7:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML

#20459773
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23387) - you deserved it (6692)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm - kids - by IvyLeague? - United States (New York)

Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

#20464089
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24041) - you deserved it (8109)

On 01/17/2013 at 5:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at work, a little girl came in and asked if we had any dance clothes. As I showed her, I asked if she was in a competition. When she said yes, I crossed my fingers and told her I hoped she would win. Unfortunately, I didn't cross them properly and I accidentally gave her the finger. FML

#20449665
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9524) - you deserved it (25997)

On 01/09/2013 at 5:42am - work - by georgiamarshall_ - Australia (New South Wales)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, one of my paintings was accepted into a local art gallery. It would've been a dream come true, had my "best friend" not submitted it under her own name and taken all the credit. FML

#20453750
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32125) - you deserved it (1916)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML

#20461359
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25793) - you deserved it (1833)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by veggieluver (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing my neighbor snore through my apartment wall. FML

#20456567
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22315) - you deserved it (2659)

On 01/13/2013 at 2:24am - love - by LilRedRiding_27 - United States (California)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.



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