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Monday 7 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML

#20455127
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30362) - you deserved it (6053)

On 01/12/2013 at 10:28am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML

#20452365
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34779) - you deserved it (2884)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm - animals - by theycallmekitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML

#20458912
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50493) - you deserved it (3647)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML

#20453938
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38679) - you deserved it (3953)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm - love - by fuck you, mum (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband suggested a way for us to "make some money" off our pregnancy. His great idea? Pregnancy porn. FML

#20456391
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42296) - you deserved it (4865)

On 01/13/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29686) - you deserved it (6405)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50783) - you deserved it (8504)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML

#20453200
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41413) - you deserved it (2772)

On 01/11/2013 at 3:03am - health - by Kftc88 - United States (California)

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

#20455279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36748) - you deserved it (8767)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39354) - you deserved it (3060)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States

Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML

#20447887
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40681) - you deserved it (3240)

On 01/08/2013 at 11:40am - work - by AnonUser464 (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML

#20445835
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30786) - you deserved it (5731)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, as per usual, my mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret". Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret. FML

#20457387
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37875) - you deserved it (2539)

On 01/13/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by daughter of a gullible cunt (woman) - Australia



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