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Sunday 6 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I paused the movie my girlfriend and I were watching and told her, for the first time, that I loved her. Her response was to stare at me silently for a few seconds before unpausing the film. FML

#20440422
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34912) - you deserved it (6378)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML

#20453938
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34793) - you deserved it (3615)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm - love - by fuck you, mum (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML

#20455127
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26951) - you deserved it (5658)

On 01/12/2013 at 10:28am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 24-year-old brother again yelled at me for looking at him while he was on the toilet. It'd be easier not to if he didn't sit on the toilet with the door wide open, and if the bathroom wasn't directly opposite my bedroom. FML

#20438837
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30645) - you deserved it (3273)

On 01/02/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, while out hiking, my phone slipped out of my pocket. I caught it and gave it to my little cousin, giving her a "special mission" to keep it safe. When we got back to our cars later, I asked her for my phone back. Turns out she left it under a shrub back in the hills so it'd be "safe." FML

#20445287
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9707) - you deserved it (33199)

On 01/06/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML

#20447887
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37148) - you deserved it (2951)

On 01/08/2013 at 11:40am - work - by AnonUser464 (man) - United States

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

#20447129
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41388) - you deserved it (2324)

On 01/07/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by legitweirdo - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

#20443434
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29134) - you deserved it (5062)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:21am - intimacy - by kblevss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML

#20438564
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12759) - you deserved it (41963)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, I learned that my doctor lost all of my immunization records. I can't start law school without them. FML

#20442687
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23093) - you deserved it (1460)

On 01/04/2013 at 3:51pm - health - by bureaucratic assfuckery (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

#20446049
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29188) - you deserved it (6003)

On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)

Today, after 3 years with my dream girl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit and everything, by the park bench where we had our first kiss. She came home tired and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML

#20444582
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29592) - you deserved it (4530)

On 01/06/2013 at 3:49am - love - by ItRainedOutside (man) - United States (Florida)



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