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Sunday 6 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

#20444730
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31525) - you deserved it (3898)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss "borrowed" my prescription sunglasses off my desk. She crashed her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay for the damages. FML

#20447961
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50482) - you deserved it (2691)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm - work - by whateven (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was asked out by a friend of mine. He's a doctor and works at a prestigious hospital, so thinking we would eat somewhere special, I got all dressed up. We ended up eating at his hospital's cafeteria, because he gets a small employee discount. FML

#20453732
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34869) - you deserved it (7544)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:37pm - love - by wowthanks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32216) - you deserved it (3494)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, my husband handed me divorce papers. FML

#20436006
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48204) - you deserved it (5368)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:15am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML

#20442364
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29283) - you deserved it (7092)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:08am - love - by damn (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

#20452996
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49580) - you deserved it (6479)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I paused the movie my girlfriend and I were watching and told her, for the first time, that I loved her. Her response was to stare at me silently for a few seconds before unpausing the film. FML

#20440422
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38609) - you deserved it (6816)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML

#20455127
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30362) - you deserved it (6053)

On 01/12/2013 at 10:28am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML

#20442878
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27214) - you deserved it (2539)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:33pm - love - by but i make different stiffies (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML

#20434714
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34857) - you deserved it (3772)

On 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by WasZumTeufel? (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML

#20452365
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34784) - you deserved it (2885)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm - animals - by theycallmekitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML

#20453938
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38680) - you deserved it (3953)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm - love - by fuck you, mum (woman) - United Kingdom



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