Friday 4 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, both my car and my father's car were broken into. They stole my radio, purse, wallet, camera, and multiple items of clothing. What did they take from my dad's car? Some screwdrivers to rip my radio out of my dash. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13648) - you deserved it (3466)
On 01/05/2013 at 12:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I unknowingly used my shampoo thinking it was leave-in-conditioner. While walking to work, it started to rain. I started to produce suds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7551) - you deserved it (14059)
On 01/05/2013 at 10:59am - misc - by nomegusta (woman) - United States
Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25421) - you deserved it (3288)
On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42567) - you deserved it (3345)
On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States
Today, I discovered that if I turn my shower off for a minute, then back on again, the water comes out scalding hot. I discovered that while the showerhead was pointed directly at my genitals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23924) - you deserved it (7959)
On 01/01/2013 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32244) - you deserved it (5771)
On 01/08/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After he left my place, I realized he took my Sonicare toothbrush because he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13312) - you deserved it (26145)
On 01/09/2013 at 9:37pm - love - by niki (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my workplace was having a raffle and was giving away a Venus shaving kit. A co-worker won, but instead of keeping it, she walked over and handed the basket to me in front of everyone, said "You need it more" and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24000) - you deserved it (4172)
Today, my boyfriend showed up at my grandmother's wake in torn jeans and a Family Guy t-shirt. When I took him aside asked him what the hell he was thinking, he lost his temper and stormed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14248) - you deserved it (2478)
On 01/04/2013 at 5:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my grandmother called me to tell me that there will be a nice, single guy for me to meet at the family reunion. She went on and on about how perfect he was for me. I didn't have the heart to tell her I'm a lesbian, and have been out to the rest of the family for over six years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22674) - you deserved it (9493)
On 01/10/2013 at 1:25am - love - by RP Havens (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22181) - you deserved it (5714)
On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)
Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30496) - you deserved it (4655)
On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -
Today, I waited over an hour for my bus. As I finally saw it approaching, I reached into my purse to grab my ticket. The lady next to me then gave the driver a hand signal to keep driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27154) - you deserved it (1931)
On 01/10/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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