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Friday 4 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

#20447129
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44119) - you deserved it (2511)

On 01/07/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by legitweirdo - United States (New York)

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

#20451321
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28471) - you deserved it (7442)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML

#20438971
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35617) - you deserved it (2299)

On 01/02/2013 at 4:53pm - animals - by Anon. -

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28851) - you deserved it (6312)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

#20450136
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31169) - you deserved it (7472)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:57pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at my four-year-old daughter's insistence, I looked for - and found - a radio station that plays "Santa music" all year round. She's ecstatic and I can't turn it off without upsetting her. FML

#20436981
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24321) - you deserved it (10189)

On 01/01/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by christmaswillneverend - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

#20442461
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20626) - you deserved it (7013)

On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend and I were trying out a site on which you talk to strangers using a mic and webcam. We came across a cute guy, who said to my friend, "Tell the fat guy to move." He was referring to me. I'm a girl. FML

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34552) - you deserved it (2788)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home to a flooded apartment and water still pouring from the ceiling. The woman who lives above me is shocked that I would consider her responsible for the damage and doesn't think she should have to pay for it. FML

#20444637
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24215) - you deserved it (1550)

On 01/06/2013 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

#20450908
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36332) - you deserved it (3013)

On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was in the elevator, when a big bearded guy stepped in, wearing a dress. It's not an uncommon sight where I live, but my friend cracked up and asked him if he was wearing underwear. He took it as a challenge, and I can safely say that no, he was not. FML

#20452044
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39076) - you deserved it (6419)

On 01/10/2013 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by juvenile friends suck (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML

#20441386
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29274) - you deserved it (2074)

On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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