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Friday 4 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

#20449931
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36564) - you deserved it (5068)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML

#20442876
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22543) - you deserved it (4086)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:31pm - love - by marisa (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

#20446049
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32946) - you deserved it (6465)

On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)

Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls in yoga pants" site. He saw my expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid my junk so they'll think it's a chick!" FML

#20451178
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43145) - you deserved it (5784)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Amy (woman) - United States

Today, someone sent my boss a CD full of documents for an upcoming trial. It's my job to sort through the evidence, so he gave it to me. I looked on the CD. There's only one file; a 1020-page PDF of all the documents we need, and the pages weren't scanned in order. FML

#20441300
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31898) - you deserved it (2334)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:36pm - work - by fucked five ways to friday (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

#20442461
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22113) - you deserved it (7249)

On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

#20447129
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45011) - you deserved it (2566)

On 01/07/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by legitweirdo - United States (New York)

Today, while at work, a Beatles song came on the radio. I jokingly said, "These guys are pretty good, are they new?" Everyone thought I was being serious, and now they're convinced I'm an idiot. FML

#20446711
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17960) - you deserved it (34929)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by EffUrEll - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

#20451321
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31803) - you deserved it (7747)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML

#20438971
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36484) - you deserved it (2359)

On 01/02/2013 at 4:53pm - animals - by Anon. -

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

#20450136
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31762) - you deserved it (7544)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:57pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my friend and I were trying out a site on which you talk to strangers using a mic and webcam. We came across a cute guy, who said to my friend, "Tell the fat guy to move." He was referring to me. I'm a girl. FML

Today, I came home to a flooded apartment and water still pouring from the ceiling. The woman who lives above me is shocked that I would consider her responsible for the damage and doesn't think she should have to pay for it. FML

#20444637
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26874) - you deserved it (1749)

On 01/06/2013 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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