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Sunday 30 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, during dinner, my mum asked why I've been so upset recently, so I just admitted it was because my girlfriend had cheated on me. At some point during my venting, I asked why this stuff always seems to happen to me. My dad looked up from his plate and said, "Probably karma." FML

#20442962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15509) - you deserved it (5519)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:04pm - misc - by moronforadad (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML

#20445378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20730) - you deserved it (2214)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:49pm - animals - by Twiggysucks68 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend read online that oversleeping has been linked to strokes later in life. He's now taken it upon himself to protect me by making sure that I have as minimal sleep as possible. FML

#20429358
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28544) - you deserved it (2708)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:33am - love - by nosleep (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed and I asked him why he was with me. His answer was, "Well, the last girl I dated was really smart and she always made me feel dumb, so I decided to switch things up a bit. You make me feel like a genius babe." FML

#20417781
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36012) - you deserved it (6953)

On 12/24/2012 at 12:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML

#20442267
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16120) - you deserved it (9836)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:13am - health - by idiot - Sweden

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

#20418972
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37219) - you deserved it (5495)

On 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

#20422616
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31743) - you deserved it (3102)

On 12/25/2012 at 11:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

#20433657
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27377) - you deserved it (4811)

On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was running on the treadmill at my local gym when I saw a girl I like a lot. I called out to her to say hi. As she was coming over, I accidentally stepped on the belt with one foot, crashed down on the treadmill, and continued to slide down in front of her, emerging with a gashed knee and arm. FML

#20445461
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20076) - you deserved it (3590)

On 01/06/2013 at 10:16pm - love - by Dkim620 (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML

#20420113
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29411) - you deserved it (3247)

On 12/25/2012 at 12:00am - love - by all by myself - United States (Alaska)

Today, I received from my husband for Christmas the body lotion that only he uses. And nothing else. FML

#20422819
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23754) - you deserved it (2306)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by marriedtoatool - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I have been single and out of the game for so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I now dream about jacking off. FML

#20436185
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29804) - you deserved it (5468)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by lonely dreams - United States (Nevada)



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