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Friday 14 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

#20406289
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45734) - you deserved it (3611)

On 12/18/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to create a perfect society in English class; the best society has their grade go up a full letter. After tons of preparation and thinking, I lost to an island made only of cheese. FML

#20200774
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21118) - you deserved it (1941)

On 12/11/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by JPPUDLY (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it, but he never seemed to laugh. Finally, the door opened and out came a lady in a wheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband. FML

#20407423
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9049) - you deserved it (59986)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43895) - you deserved it (8419)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

#20201125
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21467) - you deserved it (1828)

On 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my neighbor installed a large radio that loudly plays Christmas music 24/7. When I called in a complaint to the police department they told me to, "get in the Christmas spirit." FML

#20404496
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29811) - you deserved it (10186)

On 12/17/2012 at 9:28pm - misc - by James (man) - United States

Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML

#20411716
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10490) - you deserved it (35459)

On 12/21/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by mateyouremental - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

#20198778
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23108) - you deserved it (1958)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34878) - you deserved it (3794)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML

#20398877
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29292) - you deserved it (1918)

On 12/14/2012 at 1:44am - health - by mysidesaresplitting - United States (Michigan)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31895) - you deserved it (6286)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my family went on a family trip without me. Their reason for not bringing me? My older sister wanted extra legroom during the drive. FML

Today, I took my driver's test. I was confident and thought everything would go well. My boss ended up calling me several times during the test. Turns out my colleague never showed up to cover for me, and my boss blamed me. Not only did I fail my test, I'm now suspended from work too. FML

#20397879
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22399) - you deserved it (2297)

On 12/13/2012 at 12:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)



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