Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 14 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41667) - you deserved it (8165)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

#20199452
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22363) - you deserved it (2308)

On 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm - animals - by MoreActionThanMe - United States

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

#20201125
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21197) - you deserved it (1812)

On 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my neighbor installed a large radio that loudly plays Christmas music 24/7. When I called in a complaint to the police department they told me to, "get in the Christmas spirit." FML

#20404496
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29584) - you deserved it (10149)

On 12/17/2012 at 9:28pm - misc - by James (man) - United States

Today, I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it, but he never seemed to laugh. Finally, the door opened and out came a lady in a wheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband. FML

#20407423
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8734) - you deserved it (58495)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure. The pedicurist began examining my feet, then called his coworkers over to demonstrate how to deal with "excessively crusty" feet. FML

#20407705
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20553) - you deserved it (16279)

On 12/19/2012 at 3:53pm - health - by Crusty -

Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

#20198778
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21251) - you deserved it (1814)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML

#20398877
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27836) - you deserved it (1811)

On 12/14/2012 at 1:44am - health - by mysidesaresplitting - United States (Michigan)

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33001) - you deserved it (3603)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML

#20411716
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10360) - you deserved it (35262)

On 12/21/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by mateyouremental - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31521) - you deserved it (6236)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter wore my favorite Christmas sweater to an ugly sweater party. FML

#20201801
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20761) - you deserved it (8790)

On 12/12/2012 at 11:05am - kids - by Saduglydad - United States (Texas)

Today, while doing our Christmas shopping, my sister showed me a product that she really hated. The same one I bought her for Christmas. FML

#20403689
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27695) - you deserved it (3963)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:16pm - money - by bob (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: