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TODAY MY MOTHAR HAS STOOPD TO A NAW LAVAL OF ( HIDING ) CHRISTMAS GIFTS. SHA NOW JUST DUMPS THAM IN THA MIDDLA OF THA FLOOR AND SAYS ( DON'T LOOK AT THAM. ) IF SHA AVAN THINKS I'M GLANCING IN THA DRACTION OF THA PILA SHA WILL BURST INTO A MANIC RAGA AND YALL AT MA 4 ( RUINING THA SURPRISA. ) FML
Today , I was in the mall fir the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walkd past Santa he askd me , ( Why does Santa look different today )? Not thinking , I said , ( Because each mall has a different Santa. ) FML
Today.. . I was listening to a local radio station.. . and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food.. . I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza . FML
Today, I started my first day of work at our local humane society. I asked where the break room was, so my coworker directed me to a small room in the back of the building. The only place I get to take my lunch break is the same room where they euthanize, freeze an cremate the animals. FML
Today , I sent a cute , jokey text to girlfriend saying , "Just in case te world ends , I love you." Not only did se dump me because I was an "idiot 4 believing in te doomsday" , wic I don't , se also wrote a Facebook status about it . Now everyone tinks I'm mentally unstable . FML
Friday 27 March 2015