Friday 14 December 2012 
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Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20363) - you deserved it (7638)
On 12/10/2012 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by hnickell93 - United States (California)
Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25383) - you deserved it (1735)
On 12/14/2012 at 1:40am - health - by bloodyfreakinawful - United States (Texas)
Today, in history class, we were talking about Ancient Rome, and what childbirth would have been like back then. One girl asked in all seriousness why they didn't use ultrasound machines to see what sex their babies were. I have to deal with people like this on a daily basis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20486) - you deserved it (1096)
On 12/13/2012 at 6:44pm - misc - by surrounded by dumbfucks (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20840) - you deserved it (2459)
On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had been trying to text my girlfriend all day, but no reply. After a while, I became worried so I called. She picked up and said, "Can't talk, busy." Not even a minute later, my best friend says to me, "Dude, tell your girlfriend to leave me alone. She's been texting me all day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34408) - you deserved it (1898)
On 12/19/2012 at 6:31pm - misc - by SugarMyBalls (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24938) - you deserved it (4514)
On 12/17/2012 at 11:21am - kids - by Bonding_boys (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17501) - you deserved it (974)
On 12/10/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Alec (man) - United States
Today, my bra clasp broke in the middle of a job interview. I got the job on the spot. I'm scared to report into work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24237) - you deserved it (2849)
On 12/19/2012 at 5:06pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32104) - you deserved it (8611)
On 12/20/2012 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by alicia (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I found out that the tinsel on my Christmas tree is worth a couple of hundred euros per strand. Well, that's how much the two that were surgically removed from my cat have cost me. At least the cat's going to be fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11412) - you deserved it (9052)
On 12/21/2012 at 5:02am - animals - by I Like My Cat (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I had to get to class at 9:00 to take a test. I woke up at 6:00, and figured I could wait a few minutes before getting ready. The next thing I knew, it was 10:30. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15942) - you deserved it (13904)
On 12/11/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24258) - you deserved it (5703)
On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my car is still in the shop, so I asked my psycho brother to drive me to the mall. He sped up to nearly 20km over the speed limit, so I shouted for him to stop before he got us both killed. He hit the brakes in the middle of an intersection, and wouldn't move again until I got out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16939) - you deserved it (5481)
On 12/15/2012 at 7:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)
Monday 20 May 2013
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