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Thursday 6 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML

#20193519
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15833) - you deserved it (2664)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by chinousmc - United States (Florida)

Today, in art class, our instructor called me up to the front to model for a drawing. I agreed to pose because it was nice to be called on, and I needed a self-esteem boost. He then thanked me, saying it's a great exercise for the class to draw such strange proportions. FML

#20202076
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20496) - you deserved it (1724)

On 12/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was stuck at a red light on an empty road for ten minutes before I finally realised that not only was I looking at the wrong traffic light, it was also broken. FML

#20196348
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6105) - you deserved it (20104)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by last time I drive stoned (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML

#20200049
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31299) - you deserved it (3246)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while picking up a birthday cake, I was screamed at by an upset woman for getting special attention from the bakers, and that I was nothing more than an attention-hogging slut. The bakers are my co-workers and I was picking my cake up on my day off. FML

#20201761
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21563) - you deserved it (1410)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while visiting my widowed great aunt, she took out her wedding rings and talked about the love she and my uncle had. Smiling, I told her that one day I hope to have as happy a marriage as theirs. Her response? "Knowing you, I wouldn't count on it." My mother sat there agreeing. FML

#20189035
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18343) - you deserved it (1976)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:17am - misc - by Stupendous_ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mother told my therapist that I've been reverting to childlike behavior and she was worried about my maturity. She was worried because I screamed hysterically after dropping a pot of boiling noodles on my lap. FML

#20397574
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20738) - you deserved it (1302)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:31am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML

#20197502
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31657) - you deserved it (3126)

On 12/09/2012 at 9:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML

#20197219
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21016) - you deserved it (1945)

On 12/09/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I dropped my handbag into a water-filled gutter. As I was hurriedly fishing out the contents of my bag, I looked up. There was my ex, with the girl he left me for walking past, timed exactly to coincide with me manically scooping up one of many rapidly absorbing tampons. FML

#20194448
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21720) - you deserved it (1656)

On 12/06/2012 at 10:11pm - love - by shamefaced (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I walked into school confident about the new hair color I'd had done over the weekend. My drama teacher apparently dyed her hair the same color; everyone noticed and thought I'd copied her. FML

#20190350
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14232) - you deserved it (1296)

On 12/04/2012 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML

#20201213
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16807) - you deserved it (7303)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML

#20397555
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18740) - you deserved it (2517)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:01am - love - by Hit-and-Run - Mexico (Chihuahua)



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