Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Tuesday 4 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

#20199980
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25660) - you deserved it (5166)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

#20192329
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21569) - you deserved it (3714)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized the dress I bought yesterday still had the security tag on. I returned to the store to get it removed, only to realize my receipt was misplaced. The lady at the counter thought I stole it, called security, and had me escorted out, dress-less. FML

#20196308
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26712) - you deserved it (3869)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:12pm - money - by bitchsawmebuyit - United States (New York)

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

#20198547
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25180) - you deserved it (5784)

On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20438) - you deserved it (7852)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I smiled at a new kid and started a conversation with him, just to be nice. He later sent me 24 messages describing how strong his love for me is. I'm scared to go to school tomorrow. FML

#20200101
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29913) - you deserved it (3285)

On 12/11/2012 at 3:39am - love - by you're just creepy. - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I made a positive remark to the owner of my local groceries store for employing a special needs girl. Not only is the girl not mentally handicapped, she's also the owner's daughter. FML

#20190915
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10167) - you deserved it (27661)

On 12/04/2012 at 1:51pm - misc - by Vassy (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML

#20199068
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29471) - you deserved it (11204)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by hnickell93 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend got done with Marine combat training. The first thing he asked for weren't pictures of me but pictures of his car. Missed you too babe. FML

#20198694
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22047) - you deserved it (2843)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:47am - love - by chels (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26748) - you deserved it (6292)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML

#20198811
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28549) - you deserved it (1646)

On 12/10/2012 at 6:41am - love - by slenderman908 - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML

#20191114
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10911) - you deserved it (20984)

On 12/04/2012 at 4:34pm - work - by Adan - United States (Washington)

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

#20194684
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26759) - you deserved it (4174)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by lingadoo - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: