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Tuesday 4 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I started a new job !! I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh mah gravy!" constantly !! In response to everything !! FML

#20201125
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21425) - you deserved it (1826)

On 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, a lady on the bus cummd up to me and askd if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

#20198778
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23063) - you deserved it (1955)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)

wen ma boyfriend and I were getting intimate , I got a nose bled. He gave me a srt to plug it wit and kept going. FML

#20195821
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27105) - you deserved it (4977)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:33am - intimacy - by anon - United States

TODAY, MY CRAZY PSYCHOPATH OF A NEIGHBOR SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT, ( SO, ABOUT YUR SEX LIFE. ) I'VE BEEN SITTING ERE 4 20 MINUTES STARING AT IT BECAUSE I'M TOO SCARD TO OPEN IT. FML

#20189915
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34881) - you deserved it (3584)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I Met Mah Girlfriend's Father 4 The First Time; He Asked Me To Explain Mah Interest In Dating Her . In A Mix Of Me Trying To Say "I Want To Be With Yur Daughter" An "I Want To Be In Yur Daughter's Life" I Got Confused An Said, "I Want To Be In Yur Daughter." Real FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31822) - you deserved it (6277)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my family went on a family trip without me . Their reason fir not bringing me? My older sister wanted extra legroom during the drive . FML

Today... I bought some expensive fabric softener since I'm not too keen on mah detergent's smell. Only after washing two weeks worth of laundry did I discover that mixed together they realistically mimic the smell of fresh puke. FML

#20189162
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17265) - you deserved it (3241)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:40am - misc - by backtothelaundrettethen (woman) - Germany

Today, ma elbow was aving cramps an movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins an wires tat r being rejectd by ma body. One painful twitc causd ma arm to lock out straigt, unintentionally slapping ma and into ma co-worker's crotc. Our waiting customers giggld. FML

Today I was yelld at by a customer who was upset over having waitd twenty minute 4 a waiter to come take her order. Maybe it would be understandable if she was sitting in an actual restaurant an not a serve-yourself coffee house. FML

#20194179
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22055) - you deserved it (1263)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, mah doctor finally prescribed me some medication 4 mah arthritis. The cap was insanely well-secured, and mah hands were too racked with pain to get it off. FML

#20197805
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26057) - you deserved it (1486)

On 12/09/2012 at 3:03pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got into a fight with grlfriend. After yelling and arguing point, cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

#20189474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21720) - you deserved it (3869)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that storing a partially empty bowl of ice cream in the freezer overnight along with the spoon, and then trying to take a bite the next day, can have the same effect as sticking your tongue on a flagpole in the middle of winter. FML

#20195063
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5932) - you deserved it (26523)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by Moose (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Taday I thought it would be nice to park my new car under a big, shady oak tree to prevent it from heating up in the sun . The big, shady oak tree thought it would be nice to shd a massive branch on top of my new car . FML

#20196008
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21817) - you deserved it (3596)

On 12/08/2012 at 4:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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