Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 2 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML

#20192758
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15890) - you deserved it (869)

On 12/05/2012 at 6:27pm - money - by lonelyandcold (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, it's my sixth day taking care of my family's seven animals while my parents are in Singapore. So far, I've emergency-called the vet twice, taken a dog to the vet once, and cleaned up liquid dog shit five times. FML

#20197436
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16489) - you deserved it (1938)

On 12/09/2012 at 8:18am - animals - by KennyDidIt - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was yelled at by a customer, who was upset over having waited twenty minutes for a waiter to come take her order. Maybe it would be understandable, if she was sitting in an actual restaurant, and not a serve-yourself coffee house. FML

#20194179
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15843) - you deserved it (796)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to see a musical that some school friends had put on. At some point in the show, the main character kicked her leg up in the air, and her high heel flew off of her foot and into the audience. The shoe hit me square in the face. FML

#20196764
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16912) - you deserved it (1123)

On 12/08/2012 at 7:25pm - health - by ko - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15114) - you deserved it (2019)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States

Today, on an important call with a potential employer, he began to speak quieter and quieter until I couldn't hear him at all. When I finally hung up after waiting for 5 minutes, I realized that I had been pressing down on the volume button. FML

#20182071
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5948) - you deserved it (17971)

On 11/27/2012 at 11:58pm - work - by jkmartinjk - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML

#20193519
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12627) - you deserved it (2280)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by chinousmc - United States (Florida)

Today, I was stuck at a red light on an empty road for ten minutes before I finally realised that not only was I looking at the wrong traffic light, it was also broken. FML

#20196348
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4769) - you deserved it (13549)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by last time I drive stoned (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while visiting my widowed great aunt, she took out her wedding rings and talked about the love she and my uncle had. Smiling, I told her that one day I hope to have as happy a marriage as theirs. Her response? "Knowing you, I wouldn't count on it." My mother sat there agreeing. FML

#20189035
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14037) - you deserved it (1363)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:17am - misc - by Stupendous_ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that storing a partially empty bowl of ice cream in the freezer overnight along with the spoon, and then trying to take a bite the next day, can have the same effect as sticking your tongue on a flagpole in the middle of winter. FML

#20195063
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4118) - you deserved it (17002)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by Moose (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML

#20186785
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6124) - you deserved it (19359)

On 12/01/2012 at 3:21pm - health - by fieldmarshalclitter (man) - United States

Today, I met up with a few old friends for some wine and munchies. The main topics of conversation were colonoscopies, lactose intolerance and specific symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome. I'm sleeping over at one of their houses. Only 20 more hours to go. FML

#20184451
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10622) - you deserved it (1389)

On 11/29/2012 at 8:00pm - misc - by Randiluck (woman) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML

#20197502
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26050) - you deserved it (2213)

On 12/09/2012 at 9:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: