Thursday 29 November 2012 
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Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17263) - you deserved it (1061)
On 12/01/2012 at 9:01pm - misc - by potheadloljk (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16078) - you deserved it (1240)
On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -
Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15975) - you deserved it (870)
On 12/05/2012 at 6:27pm - money - by lonelyandcold (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15188) - you deserved it (2026)
On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States
Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6138) - you deserved it (19439)
On 12/01/2012 at 3:21pm - health - by fieldmarshalclitter (man) - United States
Today, on an important call with a potential employer, he began to speak quieter and quieter until I couldn't hear him at all. When I finally hung up after waiting for 5 minutes, I realized that I had been pressing down on the volume button. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5957) - you deserved it (18038)
On 11/27/2012 at 11:58pm - work - by jkmartinjk - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12701) - you deserved it (2285)
On 12/06/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by chinousmc - United States (Florida)
Today, while visiting my widowed great aunt, she took out her wedding rings and talked about the love she and my uncle had. Smiling, I told her that one day I hope to have as happy a marriage as theirs. Her response? "Knowing you, I wouldn't count on it." My mother sat there agreeing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14100) - you deserved it (1371)
On 12/03/2012 at 2:17am - misc - by Stupendous_ - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I met up with a few old friends for some wine and munchies. The main topics of conversation were colonoscopies, lactose intolerance and specific symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome. I'm sleeping over at one of their houses. Only 20 more hours to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10672) - you deserved it (1392)
On 11/29/2012 at 8:00pm - misc - by Randiluck (woman) - Canada
Today, after doing inventory at my job, I was approached by a co-worker who I had always thought was cute. I tried talking to her, but it was hard as I kept trembling and stuttering from spending two hours in a meat locker. Now she assumes that I'm "special". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13682) - you deserved it (1281)
On 12/01/2012 at 3:35am - work - by CheddarJack89 (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I dropped my handbag into a water-filled gutter. As I was hurriedly fishing out the contents of my bag, I looked up. There was my ex, with the girl he left me for walking past, timed exactly to coincide with me manically scooping up one of many rapidly absorbing tampons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17134) - you deserved it (1063)
On 12/06/2012 at 10:11pm - love - by shamefaced (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12785) - you deserved it (796)
On 11/28/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked into school confident about the new hair color I'd had done over the weekend. My drama teacher apparently dyed her hair the same color; everyone noticed and thought I'd copied her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13754) - you deserved it (1274)
On 12/04/2012 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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