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Sunday 25 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, mah wife wants to name our frst child Sri, after the iPhone function!! FML

#20182157
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26720) - you deserved it (2552)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by boo8713 (man) - United States (California)

Today , I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions , and I noticd that one of the boys in the film looool lookd strangely like mah dadhen he was younger!! After a little investigation , I now know that in his youth , mah dad had a crippling masturbation problem!! FML

#20181345
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42247) - you deserved it (3719)

On 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far and I've already pulled five carving looool forks out of four different people. Good job everybody. FML

#20174027
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22476) - you deserved it (1529)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)

Yesterday Two Of My Friend Condemned Me Fir Being "narrow-minded", Cuz I Couldn't Help But Laugh At The Thought That Someone Would Believe Mermaid Actually Exist. FML

#20185421
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17724) - you deserved it (4342)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by so pray to ariel about it, dipshits (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, mah girlfriend confronted me 4 forgetting to take the trash out . At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped mah lips . looool She spent the next ten minute calling me stupid and laughing at how mah grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed . mega FML

#20185423
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18660) - you deserved it (4431)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:30pm - love - by Gus (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

TODAY, I TRIED TO MOTIVATE MY 9-YEAR-OLD SISTER TO CLEAN HER ROOM. SHE SAID SHE'D ONLY AGREE IF SHE COULD KILL ME. THINKING SHE WAS JUST KIDDING AROUND, AND NOT A TOTAL PSYCHOPATH, I SAID SURE. SHE RAN TO HER ROOM SHOUTING, ( YES! I'M GONNA USE THE BIG KNIFE! ) SHE'S STILL CLEANING NOW. FML

#20172481
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26027) - you deserved it (5665)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, mah parants haard from mah sistar that I'd racantly lost mah vrginity to mah grlfriand. I'va navar baan bitchad out so viciously in mah lifa, and yat mah sistar, whom avaryona knows has had numarous casual saxual partnars this yaar, looool is traatad lika a princass 24/7. FML

#20188038
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25582) - you deserved it (2082)

On 12/02/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I went to the Apple store to try an figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses an waiting around, there solution was to ( Google it. ) FML

#20171869
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23072) - you deserved it (3547)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:42am - misc - by Jo - United States (California)

Today , mah step-mom restarted the computer because she thought she'd downloaded a virus that stopped her from being able to click on anything , erasing mah 7-page paper in the process . It turns out it was just the batteries dying in our wireless mouse . FML

#20180681
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23200) - you deserved it (12151)

On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today , I took a picture of myself wereing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples , captioned , "I hope u enjoyed your dinner , now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

#20176010
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18503) - you deserved it (44402)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly calld the waiter over an paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returnd, he broke up with me for ( emasculating ) him. fat FML

#20180957
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25166) - you deserved it (4161)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:36am - love - by Clementine (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, Muse cancelled their upcoming show in Oslo. I bought mah sold-out tickets on the black market 4 double the retail price, an have no way of getting mah money back. FML

#20184120
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11375) - you deserved it (36846)

On 11/29/2012 at 4:12pm - misc - by faen (man) - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)

my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke!! He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids"!! How did he graduate? FML

#20186465
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44215) - you deserved it (6859)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States



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