Friday 23 November 2012 
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Today, this really big woman asked me for some cigarettes. I didn't have any, which made her angry. Angry enough to pick me up, stuff me in a dumpster, and sit on the lid. I still smell like garbage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19361) - you deserved it (1313)
On 11/28/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19845) - you deserved it (1209)
On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)
Today, my dad grounded me for two weeks for profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing, he actually accepted my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost, my grounding period would double. We played. He kicked my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5171) - you deserved it (19387)
On 11/30/2012 at 8:28pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (California)
Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10645) - you deserved it (2981)
On 11/21/2012 at 12:00am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I was working the dart game at my local amusement park when a couple paid to play. They were highly intoxicated, and they thought the object of the game was to hit me with the darts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16855) - you deserved it (1296)
On 11/28/2012 at 10:14am - work - by hawksbc (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14853) - you deserved it (2049)
On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I called Costco to ask them not to renew my membership because of financial problems. The man on the phone spent 30 minutes telling me why I'm a fool to leave and I ended up with a renewed $55 membership and 25 minutes over my minute allowance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5546) - you deserved it (21804)
On 11/20/2012 at 3:47am - money - by iwannaberich - United States (California)
Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19468) - you deserved it (1873)
On 11/21/2012 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Dead_Fox (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML
I agree, your life sucks (11990) - you deserved it (1808)
On 11/23/2012 at 7:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14516) - you deserved it (1243)
On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13082) - you deserved it (5268)
On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boss asked me if I had any special plans for Christmas. After I told him I was planning a trip to Canada, he snapped, "Well, you can forget it. I need you at the office." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15732) - you deserved it (876)
On 11/22/2012 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my cat went into labor. This is surprising since 6 years ago, we paid to have her spayed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17473) - you deserved it (1091)
On 11/22/2012 at 8:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Monday 20 May 2013
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