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Thursday 22 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20558) - you deserved it (2853)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

#20184636
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30977) - you deserved it (8797)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after almost four years of having avoided her due to her hatred of my husband, my mother invited us both to a family dinner. My husband wanted to give her another chance, so we went. Less than an hour after arriving, I caught her hocking a loogie and spitting it into our food. FML

#20182910
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24868) - you deserved it (1562)

On 11/28/2012 at 6:04pm - love - by some things never change (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

#20169668
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27505) - you deserved it (5282)

On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my room-mates were inspired by a TV show to make a "douchebag jar", into which we have to put money every time we say something obnoxious. It seems like I can't open my mouth without having to cough up £10. FML

#20176638
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6746) - you deserved it (22514)

On 11/24/2012 at 1:41pm - misc - by kay51 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML

#20173284
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18284) - you deserved it (3507)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:44am - work - by Ophelia - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML

#20181011
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22981) - you deserved it (1942)

On 11/27/2012 at 8:16am - work - by nato (man) - United States

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18333) - you deserved it (6864)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

#20176987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21408) - you deserved it (2239)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27460) - you deserved it (1547)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

#20172916
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11223) - you deserved it (27267)

On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada

Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

#20176506
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21845) - you deserved it (2165)

On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

#20179069
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19037) - you deserved it (2971)

On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)



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