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Thursday 22 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

#20169668
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21420) - you deserved it (3605)

On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

#20176506
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17093) - you deserved it (1746)

On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a shopper approached me at Target and said, "So are you just gonna stand there to look pretty and do nothing around here?" I ignored his comment, until he got so upset that he wanted to speak to my manager. It would have been understandable if I actually worked there. FML

#20177780
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19729) - you deserved it (1207)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

#20172916
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8786) - you deserved it (22147)

On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada

Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML

#20179174
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23438) - you deserved it (1922)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

#20179069
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14288) - you deserved it (2478)

On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12441) - you deserved it (4722)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20862) - you deserved it (942)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

#20169028
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16615) - you deserved it (1617)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went out and bought a copy of Black Ops 2. I got home and opened the case, only to see the game disk was missing. When I went back to the store to complain, the guy at the desk accused me of trying to pull an old scam on him. FML

#20175155
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17339) - you deserved it (1471)

On 11/23/2012 at 12:20pm - money - by FUCK A FUCKING DUCK (man) - Bahamas (New Providence)

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

#20179414
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7756) - you deserved it (16625)

On 11/26/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by Z (man) - Australia

Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML

#20182175
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5584) - you deserved it (17400) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version



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