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Tuesday 20 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I caught my teenage daughter smoking, and tried calmly explaining to her that it's quite bad for her health. She replied with, "It doesn't harm you if you're under 20." FML

#20174862
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20637) - you deserved it (3013)

On 11/23/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by RyanJarmanForPresident (woman) - United States

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

#20179890
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23586) - you deserved it (2904)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm - misc - by Teddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13855) - you deserved it (11360)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

#20172481
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17982) - you deserved it (3706)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML

#20174722
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36396) - you deserved it (9571)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML

#20179140
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17427) - you deserved it (1540)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:27am - kids - by toritoratora - United States (California)

Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML

#20175088
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17417) - you deserved it (2193)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by Tymer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the Apple store to try and figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses and waiting around, their solution was to "Google it." FML

#20171869
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16340) - you deserved it (2464)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:42am - misc - by Jo - United States (California)

Today, my step-mom restarted the computer because she thought she'd downloaded a virus that stopped her from being able to click on anything, erasing my 7-page paper in the process. It turns out it was just the batteries dying in our wireless mouse. FML

#20180681
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16662) - you deserved it (8752)

On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML

#20169340
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26061) - you deserved it (3311)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States

Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20169022
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18120) - you deserved it (3083)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by ausmill12 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

#20180296
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18563) - you deserved it (2404)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend started bawling, saying that our relationship wouldn't work. Why? Because if Justin and Selena can't do it, no one can. FML

#20178699
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20809) - you deserved it (2113)

On 11/25/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by nonbelieber (man) - United States (Colorado)



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