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Sunday 18 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went out and bought a copy of Black Ops 2. I got home and opened the case, only to see the game disk was missing. When I went back to the store to complain, the guy at the desk accused me of trying to pull an old scam on him. FML

#20175155
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17337) - you deserved it (1471)

On 11/23/2012 at 12:20pm - money - by FUCK A FUCKING DUCK (man) - Bahamas (New Providence)

Today, I was severely chewed out by my boss because, according to him, I look down on him too often. I'm 6ft5. FML

#20162604
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16913) - you deserved it (1006) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/13/2012 at 4:23pm - work - by makiju - Sent from mobile version

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14021) - you deserved it (2538)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

#20176987
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16100) - you deserved it (1554)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML

#20162265
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5001) - you deserved it (16917)

On 11/13/2012 at 8:03pm - misc - by scaredinnyc - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML

#20164356
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11909) - you deserved it (1372)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, I was nicknamed "Sandman." Not after the bad-ass Spider Man villain but rather because my personality is so boring it puts people to sleep. FML

#20173388
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11617) - you deserved it (2516)

On 11/22/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by zzz - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18575) - you deserved it (5208)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

#20164794
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18079) - you deserved it (1879)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by needanewride - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I cleaned his parents' whole house while they were out, just to be nice. When they came home, they assumed we only did it because we'd made some huge mess that we needed to hide. I'm now banned from their house. FML

#20164583
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17609) - you deserved it (1343)

On 11/15/2012 at 6:34pm - love - by teea (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

#20176033
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19850) - you deserved it (1209)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)

Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML

#20171812
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10646) - you deserved it (2982)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:00am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I called Costco to ask them not to renew my membership because of financial problems. The man on the phone spent 30 minutes telling me why I'm a fool to leave and I ended up with a renewed $55 membership and 25 minutes over my minute allowance. FML



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