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Sunday 18 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21088) - you deserved it (3720)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned that last week, the UPS man gave my package to my neighbor for safekeeping. It was over five-hundred dollars' worth of merchandise. My neighbor left for Canada on Saturday. FML

#20160454
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23212) - you deserved it (1669)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:40pm - money - by siciliano12594 - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21039) - you deserved it (7388)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me. When I explained the situation to the "other guy", he exclaimed that I was lying because I was jealous and trying to ruin his relationship. He punched me in the face. FML

#20177730
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29070) - you deserved it (2744)

On 11/25/2012 at 3:09am - love - by king400 - United States (California)

Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed my eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't know what's worse, dancing with a box, or opening my eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML

#20161561
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7080) - you deserved it (29341)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:23am - work - by foreveralone (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after spending 3 hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

#20163199
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21156) - you deserved it (1644)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by racking-leaves - United States

Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML

#20159880
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32145) - you deserved it (1975)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:12am - misc - by BulldogHoops - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29120) - you deserved it (8363)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I discovered that no matter how hot and exhausted you are, being blasted in the face with a high pressure hose is always more painful than refreshing. FML

#20165112
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16202) - you deserved it (9418)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my parents kindly told me what they are getting me for my 18th birthday. An eviction notice. FML

#20170511
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22202) - you deserved it (3154)

On 11/20/2012 at 1:47am - kids - by lea5459 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I bought a new armband to hold my iPhone while working out so I can listen to music and I was excited to start getting in shape. Unfortunately, when I tried it on, my arm was too big and it didn't fit. FML

#20168720
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20482) - you deserved it (6523)

On 11/18/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by joe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

#20161557
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20547) - you deserved it (2029)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I called off my engagement, after finding out my fiancé is cheating on me. I recently started a new job, and in anticipation of getting married, I asked that my username include his surname. They can't be changed, so now I get to log in every day under that sorry bastard's surname. FML

#20170919
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26253) - you deserved it (8493)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by notAMrs (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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