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Saturday 17 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML

#20165046
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15414) - you deserved it (1892)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by grocerystalker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML

#20170920
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18056) - you deserved it (2045)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while sitting in a waiting room, a man assured me "The safety's on" after he handed his kid his BB gun. A minute later, I practically had a hole in my foot. FML

#20160435
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14598) - you deserved it (1650)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:12pm - health - by Emily - United States (California)

Today, I was conducting a meeting regarding safety concerns on my field site. While I made a comment, a client rep yelled out that women don't know construction, and that I should be acting like a proper secretary and should get my boss. I'm the Construction Manager. FML

#20161445
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18759) - you deserved it (1337)

On 11/13/2012 at 1:49am - work - by ConstructionLady (woman) - United States

Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML

#20175626
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19594) - you deserved it (2019)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by jakeson12 - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML

#20164153
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7064) - you deserved it (29702)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was grocery shopping. When I turned around I noticed a group of teens passing by laughing. I didn't think anything of it until I got to my cart. The losers had left a pack of Slim Fast in my cart. I'm pregnant. FML

#20167758
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21775) - you deserved it (1546)

On 11/18/2012 at 6:00am - health - by depressedpreggo (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML

#20173484
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17169) - you deserved it (4800)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, someone stole my iPhone. I used the Find My iPhone app, and located it in the apartment building next to mine. I can hear the ringing sound I've activated, but nobody will answer the door. FML

#20163099
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17243) - you deserved it (1123)

On 11/14/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

#20175044
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8177) - you deserved it (14773)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States

Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML

#20176711
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8158) - you deserved it (9663)

On 11/24/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by Anonymous Cunt (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, excited that I finally got a place of my own, I invited my boyfriend over for a sexy sleep over. He told me his mom doesn't want him sleeping over. He's 21 years old. FML

#20162787
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21005) - you deserved it (2571)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband half-naked and yelling at the TV screen over a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML

#20169569
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16744) - you deserved it (1946)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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