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Friday 16 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML

#20164356
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19120) - you deserved it (2250)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23850) - you deserved it (3107)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML

#20173269
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22579) - you deserved it (1420)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35am - love - by Ice cold (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML

#20166301
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20360) - you deserved it (7345)

On 11/17/2012 at 3:45am - health - by woman - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML

#20161095
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23933) - you deserved it (3998)

On 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML

#20167613
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19339) - you deserved it (2239)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:04am - misc - by creys - United States

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

#20170222
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30932) - you deserved it (16458)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML

#20166242
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23517) - you deserved it (2901)

On 11/17/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by sarahhbear - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a booth at a very expensive craft show. My grandma came to show her support. While there, she managed to knock over my display, get in the way of potential buyers and take down a rather old lady when she supposedly stumbled. This all happened in the first five minutes she was there. FML

#20167730
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19580) - you deserved it (1602)

On 11/18/2012 at 5:02am - work - by soldnone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

#20168543
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18901) - you deserved it (1510)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by mountains - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

#20174725
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24468) - you deserved it (3329)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML

#20164653
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24864) - you deserved it (1645)

On 11/15/2012 at 7:36pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, after having finally kicked my insomnia's ass after three hours, I was woken up by something I only thought happened in movies. Someone had paid for a Mariachi band to play for their girlfriend, outside my apartment, in the middle of the night. FML

#20175516
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24865) - you deserved it (1515)

On 11/23/2012 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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