Friday 16 November 2012 
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Today, I was severely chewed out by my boss because, according to him, I look down on him too often. I'm 6ft5. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16931) - you deserved it (1006) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/13/2012 at 4:23pm - work - by makiju - Sent from mobile version
Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14025) - you deserved it (2538)
On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5003) - you deserved it (16923)
On 11/13/2012 at 8:03pm - misc - by scaredinnyc - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11913) - you deserved it (1372)
On 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland
Today, I was nicknamed "Sandman." Not after the bad-ass Spider Man villain but rather because my personality is so boring it puts people to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11618) - you deserved it (2516)
On 11/22/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by zzz - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18576) - you deserved it (5208)
On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18078) - you deserved it (1880)
On 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by needanewride - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend and I cleaned his parents' whole house while they were out, just to be nice. When they came home, they assumed we only did it because we'd made some huge mess that we needed to hide. I'm now banned from their house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17610) - you deserved it (1343)
On 11/15/2012 at 6:34pm - love - by teea (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10653) - you deserved it (2982)
On 11/21/2012 at 12:00am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I called Costco to ask them not to renew my membership because of financial problems. The man on the phone spent 30 minutes telling me why I'm a fool to leave and I ended up with a renewed $55 membership and 25 minutes over my minute allowance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5547) - you deserved it (21809)
On 11/20/2012 at 3:47am - money - by iwannaberich - United States (California)
Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19481) - you deserved it (1874)
On 11/21/2012 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Dead_Fox (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML
I agree, your life sucks (12002) - you deserved it (1809)
On 11/23/2012 at 7:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14526) - you deserved it (1243)
On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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