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Monday 12 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

#20162883
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14071) - you deserved it (17483)

On 11/14/2012 at 6:39am - misc - by hclagopus (man) - Norway

Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML

#20167023
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10928) - you deserved it (18872)

On 11/17/2012 at 5:31pm - kids - by susan (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

#20163281
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37642) - you deserved it (4966)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at a red light, a guy in a tux and sunglasses doing the Gangnam Style passed over the crossing, followed by a man with a video camera. This isn't the first time I've stopped for people doing a Gangnam Style parody. FML

#20165330
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16313) - you deserved it (2511)

On 11/16/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Gangnam (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I bought an $80, "invincible" phone case. One test drop later, my phone had turned into an expensive paperweight. FML

#20161826
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6219) - you deserved it (19367)

On 11/13/2012 at 1:24pm - money - by bummed and broke - United States

Today, I had to forcibly separate a boy from my daughter after he grabbed her and started shoving her around. I complained to his mother, only to have her shout, "mind your fucking business" and say that her son can do whatever the hell he wants. FML

#20168309
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19646) - you deserved it (959)

On 11/18/2012 at 4:22pm - kids - by WELL FUCK YOU KINDLY, MA'AM (man) - United States (New York)

Today, on my way to school, I was shouted at by an obnoxious businessman for sitting down on the train when a "full fare paying passenger" was standing. I would normally have given him the seat straight away, except I have a broken leg. I showed him my leg and crutches. He still made me get up. FML

#20159990
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18538) - you deserved it (1913)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:50am - health - by myleghurts (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

#20170086
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11437) - you deserved it (21407)

On 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by karmaquestionmark (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

#20165158
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23530) - you deserved it (4053)

On 11/16/2012 at 4:40am - misc - by mfischer (man) - United States

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my English professor accused me of plagiarizing a poem I submitted, because she'd read it online earlier that day. The poem was mine; I posted it after writing it for her class, and even after logging into the site to prove it, she reported me to the school. FML

#20161959
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22753) - you deserved it (1475)

On 11/13/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by ninjakomodo (man) - United States

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

#20159952
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19329) - you deserved it (1386)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13865) - you deserved it (11365)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

#20162838
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19114) - you deserved it (3858)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:06am - intimacy - by fuzz94 (man) - Australia (Queensland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.



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