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Friday 9 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34117) - you deserved it (3483)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was bitched out by my supervisor because of my lack of "customer service" skills. I work at a jail and all my "customers" are criminals. FML

#20152272
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22034) - you deserved it (4007)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:48am - work - by jailofc (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after finishing a test, I decided to draw to pass the time. My teacher looked at the drawing and gave me a referral to the principal for drawing an "anti-Semitic picture." I'd drawn Superman. FML

#20163905
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18866) - you deserved it (1499)

On 11/15/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Superman (man) - United States (California)

Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML

#20159802
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22552) - you deserved it (1316)

On 11/11/2012 at 11:30pm - misc - by me - United States (Indiana)

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

#20165849
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27299) - you deserved it (5318)

On 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm - work - by wow @ creepy fuckers (man) - United States

Today, while at work, a customer gave me a $20 tip. I explained to him we aren't allowed to accept tips, but he insisted. When I called the manager to report it, he pocketed my tip. FML

#20157115
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12327) - you deserved it (25980)

On 11/10/2012 at 2:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after a year of living with my boyfriend at our new place, he told me that he wants to sell our house and live in a trailer, so he can be closer to his mom. FML

#20155172
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19884) - you deserved it (2135)

On 11/08/2012 at 4:22pm - misc - by Anonimo (woman) - Italy (Sardegna)

Today, I was at the library using a computer to order a package. A man sat down next to me mumbling to himself while staring at me. As I got up to go to the printer, he pointed at me and screamed, "I will burn you alive and enjoy it!" All of my info including my address was still on the computer screen. FML

#20161493
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21635) - you deserved it (4576)

On 11/13/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by sarahcurtis213 - United States

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

#20156617
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20995) - you deserved it (2776)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm - health - by dating a fking cnt (man) - Canada

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I share a birthday with a fictional character who is "untrustworthy" and has a "dark side", so therefore I can't be trusted either. FML

#20163899
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23559) - you deserved it (1963)

On 11/15/2012 at 12:48am - love - by B-Rad (man) - United States

Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML

Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML

#20154142
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19593) - you deserved it (2089)

On 11/07/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by ohcrap (man) - United States

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

#20161591
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24602) - you deserved it (2481)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:02am - love - by Med (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)



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