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Monday 5 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my best friend got engaged to the guy she's been seeing for five years. He also happens to be the man I've been in love with for eight. As she was giving me the details, she nonchalantly gave me her reason for accepting the proposal: "Why the hell not, there's always divorce." FML

#20149647
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23443) - you deserved it (3658)

On 11/05/2012 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally met the girl I've been talking to on phone for a while and found her charming in person as well. There's just one problem: she has more facial hair than I do. FML

#20159578
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16755) - you deserved it (5512)

On 11/11/2012 at 9:16pm - love - by x (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while sitting in a waiting room, a man assured me "The safety's on" after he handed his kid his BB gun. A minute later, I practically had a hole in my foot. FML

#20160435
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16303) - you deserved it (2079)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:12pm - health - by Emily - United States (California)

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16401) - you deserved it (5714)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

#20155904
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34923) - you deserved it (1507)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:18am - love - by SebastianMiko (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mum, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML

#20159285
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18710) - you deserved it (9364)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:48pm - love - by notalovestory (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML

#20154716
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25885) - you deserved it (1995)

On 11/08/2012 at 6:09am - kids - by Shauna (woman) - United States

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

#20150645
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20158) - you deserved it (2267)

On 11/06/2012 at 3:27pm - animals - by creedonfied - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML

#20148958
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25208) - you deserved it (2192)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML

#20149952
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14559) - you deserved it (2243)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:42am - love - by cowgirl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the father of my unborn child told me he isn't sure he'll be able to make it to the birth, since there's no guarantee of when it will happen, so he can't schedule time off. This would be understandable if he actually had a job. FML

#20158967
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21010) - you deserved it (5428)

On 11/11/2012 at 1:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML

#20148752
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18992) - you deserved it (1755)

On 11/05/2012 at 10:58am - misc - by Spoilicious - Singapore

Today, at daycare, a little girl cussed me out because I didn't have any apple juice left. When I called her parents, they sided with her and cussed me out too. My boss refused to sympathize, and reprimanded me for not making sure we still had apple juice. FML

#20148817
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17568) - you deserved it (1603)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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