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Tuesday 30 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

#20141343
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26248) - you deserved it (3329)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)

Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML

#20148447
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28066) - you deserved it (3252)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:02am - love - by sad (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized why it's a bad idea to store your business cards and your "emergency condom" in the same handbag compartment. I realized this after a client watched me miss the cards and pull out the condom after our lunch meeting. FML

#20144136
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7204) - you deserved it (26343)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:35am - work - by Hornymuch (woman) - Germany

Today, I found out that my over-controlling parents would be moving in next door. I'm almost 23, and moved 5,365 KM away to get away from them. FML

#20142163
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29220) - you deserved it (1752)

On 10/31/2012 at 9:39pm - misc - by OhLovely (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML

#20145644
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26216) - you deserved it (1916)

On 11/03/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by xXfloatingshitlogXx (woman) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, in the middle of a hot air balloon ride with my girlfriend, I asked her to marry me. She said no. The rest of the ride was the most awkward 2 hours of my life. FML

#20148134
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34930) - you deserved it (4147)

On 11/04/2012 at 10:26pm - love - by Tj Hunt - United States

Today, I work on a cruise ship, and I just learned that we have a morgue on board. How did I learn that? It's right next to the crew laundry room, and I opened the wrong door. It was occupied. FML

#20147788
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20296) - you deserved it (1635)

On 11/04/2012 at 7:02pm - work - by CircusSea (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML

#20149912
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33863) - you deserved it (4614)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Ugggggggggg (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

#20141378
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27049) - you deserved it (1908)

On 10/31/2012 at 7:30am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my newly ex-fiancé, the father of my 5-year-old child, moved out of state with no warning. I just spent my last $500 paying off his car, and the rent is due tomorrow. FML

#20144316
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24526) - you deserved it (5673)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:35pm - love - by lilithfaye (woman) - United States

Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML

#20140711
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22697) - you deserved it (1666)

On 10/30/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML

#20150513
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22294) - you deserved it (1612)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I overheard my mom talking on the phone with my sister about how much they hate my fiancé. My wedding is in two weeks and my family has been pretending to like my future husband for three years. FML

#20148569
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21874) - you deserved it (1840)

On 11/05/2012 at 6:36am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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