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Tuesday 30 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

#20139029
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16468) - you deserved it (1937)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States

Today, in the middle of a hot air balloon ride with my girlfriend, I asked her to marry me. She said no. The rest of the ride was the most awkward 2 hours of my life. FML

#20148134
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25209) - you deserved it (2762)

On 11/04/2012 at 10:26pm - love - by Tj Hunt - United States

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML

#20138170
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7395) - you deserved it (16114)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML

#20138333
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17476) - you deserved it (1502)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML

#20149912
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22124) - you deserved it (2963)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Ugggggggggg (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML

#20150517
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22118) - you deserved it (2002)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML

#20141026
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14590) - you deserved it (6591)

On 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I looked up the side effects of the antidepressants I've recently started taking. Inability to orgasm is one of them. I can either not be depressed, or I can have an orgasm. FML

#20148960
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20166) - you deserved it (2598)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:25pm - intimacy - by HappinessOrOrgasms (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

#20141343
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18080) - you deserved it (2103)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend decided to invite her best friend over for a threesome. This would've been the best day ever, had I not been at work while it was taking place. FML

#20150477
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26643) - you deserved it (2259)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by sadness1992 - United States (California)

Today, I realized why it's a bad idea to store your business cards and your "emergency condom" in the same handbag compartment. I realized this after a client watched me miss the cards and pull out the condom after our lunch meeting. FML

#20144136
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4945) - you deserved it (19620)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:35am - work - by Hornymuch (woman) - Germany

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by showing up at my work and proposing to me. It was sweet until an angry customer bitched us out for "wasting her time." FML

#20141262
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18012) - you deserved it (2037)

On 10/31/2012 at 2:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

#20141794
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18294) - you deserved it (2450)

On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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