Saturday 27 October 2012 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I went to a big family dinner. I didn't realize I hadn't been invited until we were about to sit down to eat. There were 12 chairs, 12 plates, 12 forks, and 12 glasses. I was the 13th person to arrive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17573) - you deserved it (1753)
On 10/31/2012 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20236) - you deserved it (1574)
On 10/31/2012 at 8:40pm - misc - by hallofail (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I found a notebook my 12-year-old sister had been doodling in. Turns out the "doodles" were poems full of obscenities and descriptions of how she wanted to hurt herself. When I showed it to my mom, she accused me of writing the notebook myself to frame my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17392) - you deserved it (1183)
On 10/26/2012 at 12:38am - kids - by familyofpsychos - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22868) - you deserved it (1620)
On 10/28/2012 at 12:22am - love - by prettylady? - United States
Today, I was taking a walk with a girl I really like. Trying to impress her, I mentioned I'd just learned how to do a front flip, and she told me to prove it. I did the flip, but stumbled forward on the landing and smacked head-first into a pole. She's still laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7711) - you deserved it (14993)
On 10/27/2012 at 8:12pm - love - by RedFox12 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17267) - you deserved it (2927)
On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States
Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to convert to a Christian. Not because she has a strong relation with God, but because she wants to post Facebook statuses about Him and "get a lot of likes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17860) - you deserved it (2039)
On 10/24/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17543) - you deserved it (1506)
On 10/29/2012 at 6:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16521) - you deserved it (1943)
On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7413) - you deserved it (16174)
On 10/29/2012 at 1:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14677) - you deserved it (6597)
On 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I finally found a cute dress that hugged my curves and hid my imperfections. I wore it to my friend's house, and was feeling pretty good about myself, until some pregnant woman walked into the room wearing the exact same thing. It was a maternity dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18038) - you deserved it (4624)
On 10/22/2012 at 12:09pm - misc - by preggersmcgee (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my fiancé's stepfather asked me how my teaching job was going. I replied heatedly that I've never taught, and then complained bitterly to my fiancé about how his family still doesn't know me. Turns out his stepfather has early onset dementia, and that I'm an asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6238) - you deserved it (20366)
On 10/23/2012 at 9:29am - misc - by inthefamily (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
