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Saturday 27 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

#20138973
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29715) - you deserved it (2635)

On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

#20140057
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26442) - you deserved it (4449)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States

Today, after a week of looking for my car keys and being forced to drag my family around on public transportation, my wife found the keys in our car's ignition. FML

#20142914
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7475) - you deserved it (30501)

On 11/01/2012 at 1:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, my fiancé's stepfather asked me how my teaching job was going. I replied heatedly that I've never taught, and then complained bitterly to my fiancé about how his family still doesn't know me. Turns out his stepfather has early onset dementia, and that I'm an asshole. FML

#20129656
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9733) - you deserved it (34252)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:29am - misc - by inthefamily (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, after nearly a year of headaches and fuzzy vision, I went to the eye doctor. It turns out I've had my contacts in the wrong eyes for a year. FML

#20144283
113 comments

Today, I was taking a walk with a girl I really like. Trying to impress her, I mentioned I'd just learned how to do a front flip, and she told me to prove it. I did the flip, but stumbled forward on the landing and smacked head-first into a pole. She's still laughing. FML

Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML

#20138333
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27171) - you deserved it (2573)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML

#20141026
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24213) - you deserved it (9983)

On 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

#20141343
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27000) - you deserved it (3404)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML

#20140254
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29098) - you deserved it (4081)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:45pm - animals - by Lilly - United States

Today, it's the five year anniversary of the day I broke up with my girlfriend to see other people. I've not had sex a single time since. FML

#20134961
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14047) - you deserved it (61124)

On 10/27/2012 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Cslouth - United States (New York)

Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML

#20145916
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26746) - you deserved it (5403)

On 11/03/2012 at 3:42pm - health - by WeddingWoes (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML

#20138170
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12119) - you deserved it (27474)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States



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