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Saturday 27 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized why it's a bad idea to store your business cards and your "emergency condom" in the same handbag compartment. I realized this after a client watched me miss the cards and pull out the condom after our lunch meeting. FML

#20144136
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6299) - you deserved it (23878)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:35am - work - by Hornymuch (woman) - Germany

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and I asked him to call me something sweet. He called me Honey Boo Boo. FML

Today, I found a notebook my 12-year-old sister had been doodling in. Turns out the "doodles" were poems full of obscenities and descriptions of how she wanted to hurt herself. When I showed it to my mom, she accused me of writing the notebook myself to frame my sister. FML

#20133698
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23949) - you deserved it (1915)

On 10/26/2012 at 12:38am - kids - by familyofpsychos - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I went to a big family dinner. I didn't realize I hadn't been invited until we were about to sit down to eat. There were 12 chairs, 12 plates, 12 forks, and 12 glasses. I was the 13th person to arrive. FML

#20141489
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22302) - you deserved it (2173)

On 10/31/2012 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a field trip with some people from school. I'm currently confined to a wheelchair, so I had to rely on my sister to get around. She eventually went off with her friends, assuming that the people nearby would keep me company. Five minutes later, they'd all left me. FML

#20135712
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22424) - you deserved it (1648)

On 10/27/2012 at 4:04pm - misc - by left4dead (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

#20140057
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22732) - you deserved it (4067)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States

Today, on the first cold night of autumn, I realized I need a girlfriend because the only way I can stay warm is if I spoon with my dog. FML

#20127903
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16589) - you deserved it (4383)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by sadguyme (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was fired for actively seeking employment with another company. Because of having just been fired, the other company will no longer give me the time of day. FML

#20132895
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18992) - you deserved it (3934)

On 10/25/2012 at 4:13pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was taking a walk with a girl I really like. Trying to impress her, I mentioned I'd just learned how to do a front flip, and she told me to prove it. I did the flip, but stumbled forward on the landing and smacked head-first into a pole. She's still laughing. FML

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML

#20138170
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10060) - you deserved it (24504)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML

#20138333
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23244) - you deserved it (2212)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML

#20141026
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20531) - you deserved it (9163)

On 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé's stepfather asked me how my teaching job was going. I replied heatedly that I've never taught, and then complained bitterly to my fiancé about how his family still doesn't know me. Turns out his stepfather has early onset dementia, and that I'm an asshole. FML

#20129656
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8402) - you deserved it (30622)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:29am - misc - by inthefamily (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)



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