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Wednesday 23 May 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got yelled at and called a pedo by a mother after I sat down in a swing next to her daughter. I was too embarrassed to tell her that I'm a 20 year old who really does enjoy swinging in my spare time. FML

#19687702
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17574) - you deserved it (2862)

On 05/27/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by CA19oo - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7617) - you deserved it (28310)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, my 14-year-old brother told me he needed help with something "very personal." Thinking he wanted girlfriend advice or something, I said, "Sure, no problem". He wanted me to shave his butt crack. FML

#19700460
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18864) - you deserved it (1868)

On 05/29/2012 at 6:40pm - kids - by liquid_sasquatch - United States

Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML

#19680165
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17100) - you deserved it (1528)

On 05/25/2012 at 8:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I watched a movie with my little sister. I couldn't understand a word that was said during one scene, but I figured it was in some kind of made-up language. When I commented on it later, she called me a moron and said it was Spanish. FML

#19657382
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3398) - you deserved it (20242)

On 05/21/2012 at 2:42pm - kids - by sickdisney (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got fired from my job at a weight-loss center because I was too skinny, and apparently it's too depressing for the customers to handle. FML

#19677400
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18206) - you deserved it (2302)

On 05/25/2012 at 7:18am - work - by jingle - United States (Delaware)

Today, I am on vacation in the Smoky Mountains with my parents. They just decided to take me to the place I was conceived seventeen years ago: a bench at a public park. FML

#19673132
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17933) - you deserved it (1371)

On 05/24/2012 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML

#19668555
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16523) - you deserved it (2015)

On 05/23/2012 at 5:14pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to Busch Gardens. Trying to cool off, I got on a ride that soaked me to the bone. For the rest of the time I was there, my bra was visible through my clothes, along with the "Hell Yeah" printed on my underwear. FML

#19688596
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5922) - you deserved it (21743)

On 05/27/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by taylortotscx - United States (Florida)

Today, my remote control airplane arrived in the mail. I was super excited, so naturally I took it outside for its first flight. It now resides at the top of the tallest tree in sight. FML

#19691292
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11164) - you deserved it (5545)

On 05/27/2012 at 11:33pm - misc - by buckley456 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friends were coming to pick me up from volleyball practice. When their car pulled up, I jumped in. It was really quiet, so I looked up, only to find I had gotten in the wrong car. FML

Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML

#19694666
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13069) - you deserved it (8313)

On 05/28/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Shianna (woman) - United States (Maine)



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Wednesday 15 May 2013

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