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Tuesday 1 May 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, the person I've been sharing my most intimate feelings with finally got bored and let me know I've been texting the wrong number for weeks. FML

#19573313
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18642) - you deserved it (3693)

On 05/04/2012 at 3:14pm - love - by john (man) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, feeling desperate, I asked my dad for advice on how to get a girl. He asked me why I want to even date. I panicked and said I just wanted to make someone happy. He told me that if I wanted to make someone happy, I should "just start by getting a goddamn vasectomy". FML

#19574398
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13178) - you deserved it (1495)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:01pm - love - by AnonymousUser (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

#19579896
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24287) - you deserved it (1772)

On 05/06/2012 at 12:09am - health - by catherineratley - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had food poisoning. When I was finally able to drag myself to the kitchen for some Gatorade, I got stung by a wasp. FML

#19575961
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16755) - you deserved it (1269)

On 05/05/2012 at 3:19am - health - by markzar - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to ring up our local competitors to get prices for paint. I pretended I'd just bought a house and was doing it up, and I actually got excited about doing up a make-believe house. FML

#19562532
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12051) - you deserved it (3008)

On 05/02/2012 at 7:18am - work - by tillyg15 - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I volunteered to be my brother's designated driver. I told him throughout the night that I wasn't drinking, but he ended up leaving me at the bar and going to his friend's house in a cab for more drinks, taking my keys along with him. FML

#19577517
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13734) - you deserved it (2341)

On 05/05/2012 at 2:12pm - misc - by leftoutdrunk - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in a rush to squeeze out of a particularly tight parking spot, I made a hurried 12-point turn. Just to make sure I had enough room behind, I hopped out of my car. It was still in reverse. I managed to wreck my own car without even sitting in it. FML

#19556658
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3932) - you deserved it (14670)

On 05/01/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by tandc (man) - United States

Today, I sarcastically pointed out a book to my mom, titled "Living Successfully With Screwed Up People." She already has it. FML

#19568451
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14047) - you deserved it (3151)

On 05/03/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by screwedupkid -



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

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