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Tuesday 24 April 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I've been diagnosed with a severe lung infection. This causes me to viciously hack up a lung every two minutes or so. Not only can I barely breathe as it is, my job requires lots of running around, cleaning and interacting with customers. I have a five-hour shift tonight. FML

#19529513
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15633) - you deserved it (1385)

On 04/25/2012 at 9:27pm - health - by MissMae93 (woman) - United States

Today, my son told me he needed a haircut. I was thrilled that he actually requested it, since he normally throws a fit over getting them. He described the cut he wants. It's a mullet. FML

#19523693
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17230) - you deserved it (1911)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:59pm - kids - by DaveAlmighty (man) - United States

Today, I was walking across a pedestrian crossing and waved at the driver of the car who'd stopped, just to say thank you. She stuck her middle finger up at me. FML

#19515959
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15452) - you deserved it (2054)

On 04/23/2012 at 9:00am - misc - by hoggypig -

Today, I was hanging out with some of my friends when I fell asleep. When I woke up, I found that they had shaved the F word into my arm. I don't know what is more disturbing: the fact that this is what my friends do for fun, or that I have enough arm hair to have four letters shaved into it. FML

#19532931
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15066) - you deserved it (3264)

On 04/26/2012 at 4:23pm - misc - by HAIRY (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out I have a kidney infection. Now I'm forced to drink at least 4 glasses of water before going to bed. I also have to be woken up every two hours to be told to, "GO PEE BEFORE YOU DIE!" by my mother. FML

#19520981
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18116) - you deserved it (1245)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:50am - health - by hottygirl905 - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was crossing an intersection, a car ran a red light and almost hit me. This kind of thing happens a lot in my town so I'm used to almost being run-down, except this time it was a small boy on his father's lap steering. The dad was laughing. FML

#19531313
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19696) - you deserved it (1208)

On 04/26/2012 at 7:49am - misc - by Diffy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was confirmed that the "no pet rule" in my apartment complex is so strict that I'm not even allowed to have sea monkeys. FML

#19561558
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16100) - you deserved it (1607)

On 05/01/2012 at 11:59pm - animals - by Monkeyless (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

#19531197
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5224) - you deserved it (19969)

On 04/26/2012 at 6:44am - work - by NoPrivacy (woman) - United States

Today, I left my number on my receipt for a cute waitress. As I was leaving the bar, she came running out and called me over. I obviously got excited. Turns out I'd forgotten to sign my slip. FML

#19516000
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6792) - you deserved it (2787)

On 04/23/2012 at 9:22am - love - by Dave (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother and I were shoveling mulch. He pushed me in and then ran away, laughing hysterically. I was stuck in the mulch, and no one would help. I was literally in deep shit. FML

#19528720
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14602) - you deserved it (1554)

On 04/25/2012 at 7:08pm - misc - by horselover7766 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was worried about my brother because he said that his new medication was making him hallucinate. I told him he should see a doctor right away. He said it was fine and that he had already seen a doctor. I later found out the doctor he was talking about was a hallucination. FML

#19536164
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17499) - you deserved it (1467)

On 04/27/2012 at 4:22am - health - by PickedOff (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML

#19557716
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15496) - you deserved it (3162)

On 05/01/2012 at 9:58am - work - by Nice (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my new neighbours moved in. I've neither seen nor spoken to them yet; all I know is that they enjoy hammering at the walls for hours on end and repeatedly setting off the fire alarm. All this in the small hours of the morning. I got two hours of sleep. FML

#19558757
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13577) - you deserved it (1096)

On 05/01/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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