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May 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

#21135914
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44823) - you deserved it (13147)

On 05/10/2014 at 6:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML

#21129433
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40139) - you deserved it (7434)

On 05/03/2014 at 6:38am - health - by cocacola999 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I pulled up next to a lady who was trying to text, smoke, and drive. My brother said that she was probably going to cause an accident. He was right. At the next light she hit us. She then yelled that I purposely caused the accident because, "that's how teenagers are". FML

#21129304
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50401) - you deserved it (3295)

On 05/03/2014 at 1:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out my neighbor collects body-bags. FML

#21139874
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42849) - you deserved it (3787)

On 05/14/2014 at 5:46pm - misc - by chellegbelle - United States (Washington)

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

#21142253
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42237) - you deserved it (14452)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by pissed off (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took my driving test. It was all going well until out of habit from driving with my boyfriend, I reached over and held my instructor's hand. FML

#21154900
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46394) - you deserved it (17398)

On 05/28/2014 at 5:12pm - misc - by chevygirl51 - United States

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML

#21153496
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51033) - you deserved it (5333)

On 05/27/2014 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a customer cussed me out for hiding behind the counter a jacket she's been "eyeing since it came out". She loudly exclaimed that she was going to report me to my manager and get me "fired." It was my personal jacket that we don't even sell. FML

Today, a drunken guest in the hotel I work at has barricaded himself in the employee restroom and refuses to come out, unless I "promise to love him forever." It's 4am and I'm the only one here. FML

Today, my husband's cat died. He has resorted to calling me by her name to comfort himself. FML

#21132092
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44430) - you deserved it (4697)

On 05/06/2014 at 1:42am - animals - by catfriend - United States (California)

Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML

#21134110
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44604) - you deserved it (4407)

On 05/08/2014 at 3:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

#21149341
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44449) - you deserved it (4537)

On 05/23/2014 at 3:32pm - kids - by todaddy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

#21131626
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42046) - you deserved it (4597)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm - health - by randomusername99 - United States (New York)



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