Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, the only conversation I had with my mother where she didn't explode into a hissy fit was about peanut butter vs. almond butter. And even then she was starting to get mad at me. FML

#21006901
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35658) - you deserved it (3312)

On 12/27/2013 at 1:40am - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dog played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

#20991879
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39254) - you deserved it (6716)

On 12/14/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by Crystal_Nicole - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was in the middle of an interview; it was going great until I started coughing. That coughing led to an asthma attack, which led to nonstop gagging. I couldn't even answer his final question, "Are you okay?" FML

#20990762
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39689) - you deserved it (2468)

On 12/12/2013 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML

#20993322
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37453) - you deserved it (3280)

On 12/15/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by ANONYMOUS -_- (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got kicked out of my band by the guy who quit two weeks ago. The bad part? Everyone else agreed with him. FML

#20995103
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35753) - you deserved it (4037)

On 12/16/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by dazed and confused - United States (Florida)

Today, I thought it was a good idea to flush the stink bug I found in my kitchen. Later I went in the bathroom to take a crap, and next thing I know, I feel a stink bug on my privates. I guess it didn't flush after all. FML

#21000427
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36736) - you deserved it (8235)

On 12/21/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a whistle key finder from my grandma for Christmas. This would have been nice if I could actually whistle. FML

#21005460
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30477) - you deserved it (4643)

On 12/25/2013 at 9:07pm - misc - by princesss_14 - United States (Texas)

Today, I taught a college course with a group of 30 adults. I was educating them on leadership and gave a 25 minute lecture, with examples like Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King, and how they changed the world. Then I opened the forum to see who inspired them. The response? Donald Trump. FML

#20987886
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33235) - you deserved it (4401)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:32pm - misc - by Disappointed Teacher (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a wake. When my dad picked me up, I was still pretty upset. Just when I'd had enough of death, the car hits a raccoon on the way home. FML

#20980367
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36533) - you deserved it (4617)

On 12/04/2013 at 11:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, a weird guy in pajama pants and a fake hair-hat kept standing by us at a concert. Everyone talked about what a creep he was. I would have too, but he was my dad. FML

#20997867
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44811) - you deserved it (4598)

On 12/19/2013 at 8:48am - misc - by sammers27 (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a customer threatened to come back later and shoot the whole place up. Why? I didn't give him a discount on his beer. My boss's reaction when I called the police: "Why didn't you give him the discount?!" Last week he bitched me out for letting a girl off for being a few cents short on hers. FML

#20983086
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42997) - you deserved it (3095)

On 12/06/2013 at 6:37pm - work - by eat my fucking ass, boss (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML

#21011563
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42465) - you deserved it (3578)

On 12/31/2013 at 12:47pm - misc - by awkword (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was granted a donation to pay for a creative writing course. When I told my mom she couldn't even muster a smile. She found her excitement later, however, when she posted how proud she was of me on Facebook. I can only get praise through my mom attention-whoring on social media. FML

#20980804
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36502) - you deserved it (2305)

On 12/04/2013 at 7:00pm - misc - by Briscuit (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: