Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized there is nothing quite like having your mother be too hungover to open presents on Christmas morning. FML

Today, I went to a local bar for a speed dating event. The first person I hooked up with took one look at my face, burst into laughter, and walked out of the bar practically doubling over. FML

#21000904
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36698) - you deserved it (3199)

On 12/22/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by Isitreallythatbad, (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a Christmas party when I noticed someone had taken all of the cash I had from out of my wallet. It was a family gathering. I'm related to the culprit but have no idea who it is. FML

#20994219
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38058) - you deserved it (2766)

On 12/15/2013 at 11:47pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

#21007355
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44821) - you deserved it (5105)

On 12/27/2013 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Jamaica (Saint Andrew)

Today, I was in the middle of an interview; it was going great until I started coughing. That coughing led to an asthma attack, which led to nonstop gagging. I couldn't even answer his final question, "Are you okay?" FML

#20990762
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39150) - you deserved it (2433)

On 12/12/2013 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a wake. When my dad picked me up, I was still pretty upset. Just when I'd had enough of death, the car hits a raccoon on the way home. FML

#20980367
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34656) - you deserved it (4407)

On 12/04/2013 at 11:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML

#20993322
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35018) - you deserved it (3034)

On 12/15/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by ANONYMOUS -_- (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, the only conversation I had with my mother where she didn't explode into a hissy fit was about peanut butter vs. almond butter. And even then she was starting to get mad at me. FML

#21006901
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33334) - you deserved it (3116)

On 12/27/2013 at 1:40am - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got kicked out of my band by the guy who quit two weeks ago. The bad part? Everyone else agreed with him. FML

#20995103
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34117) - you deserved it (3873)

On 12/16/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by dazed and confused - United States (Florida)

Today, a weird guy in pajama pants and a fake hair-hat kept standing by us at a concert. Everyone talked about what a creep he was. I would have too, but he was my dad. FML

#20997867
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42211) - you deserved it (4331)

On 12/19/2013 at 8:48am - misc - by sammers27 (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dog played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

#20991879
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36631) - you deserved it (6314)

On 12/14/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by Crystal_Nicole - United States (Kansas)

Today, I taught a college course with a group of 30 adults. I was educating them on leadership and gave a 25 minute lecture, with examples like Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King, and how they changed the world. Then I opened the forum to see who inspired them. The response? Donald Trump. FML

#20987886
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30909) - you deserved it (4114)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:32pm - misc - by Disappointed Teacher (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was granted a donation to pay for a creative writing course. When I told my mom she couldn't even muster a smile. She found her excitement later, however, when she posted how proud she was of me on Facebook. I can only get praise through my mom attention-whoring on social media. FML

#20980804
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35721) - you deserved it (2236)

On 12/04/2013 at 7:00pm - misc - by Briscuit (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: