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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got dumped during sex. FML

#20563466
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71592) - you deserved it (9660)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:02am - intimacy - by Bigfatfailure (man) - United States (California)

Today, my department found out that we're getting a new supervisor for the third time this month. I joked about how we're like "the foster kid nobody wants." One of my coworkers burst into tears and ran off. I later found out that she had been a foster child and never once had a stable home. FML

#20550513
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36432) - you deserved it (28686)

On 03/19/2013 at 5:59am - work - by Luke - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

#20538482
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38458) - you deserved it (4203)

On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML

#20561443
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35586) - you deserved it (3600)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went out to Applebees with a girl I like and a group of friends. Someone asked if the girl and I were dating. She instantly replied with a bit of disgust "What? No way, never!" It would have been nice to know before paying for the last ten or so dates we went on. FML

Today, a pregnant friend who is due in 2 weeks posted a picture of a baby on Facebook. I commented congratulations. She's still pregnant. It was a picture of her baby who died 3 years ago. FML

#20553352
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53301) - you deserved it (12627)

On 03/21/2013 at 5:42am - kids - by seamonkeys - United States

Today, the "Child Care and Development" class at my high school assigned all 50 students to carry a fake baby around school all day for a week. I can't even read a page of my notes without hearing a robotic crying noise. Today is the first day. FML

#20526714
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31153) - you deserved it (4617)

On 03/01/2013 at 8:20am - misc - by Headache - United States

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being a feeder, saying that's why she's been putting on so much weight. When I said it might be because she eats at McDonalds everyday, and that I was willing to start cooking low-calorie foods for us, she hit me. Then she went to McDonalds. FML

#20538059
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45000) - you deserved it (5126)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:03pm - love - by Raiden (man) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML

#20561180
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41666) - you deserved it (4971)

On 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by holycommander - United States

Today, I bought an expensive razor that's supposed to be great. My roommate asked if she could borrow it, and as her legs just looked like they needed touching up, I said sure. After a strangely long amount of time, she came back, thanked me and left. Her legs were still hairy. FML

#20557395
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39461) - you deserved it (12648)

On 03/24/2013 at 1:30am - misc - by bleach (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML

#20550446
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41904) - you deserved it (8869) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm - love - by inconnue - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I figured I needed to clean my room. I ended up finding my $135 calculator that I'd accused my ex-boyfriend of selling for gas money. That's also the reason I dumped him. FML

#20539612
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10447) - you deserved it (73558)

On 03/11/2013 at 2:56pm - money - by supertango500 (woman) - United States

Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML

#20559522
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11521) - you deserved it (66523)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:31pm - health - by anon - United States



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