Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML

#20528725
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13303) - you deserved it (73461)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:38pm - love - by douchegamer - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, thinking my girlfriend had left her little black thong in the dryer to tease me, I sent her a picture of me seductively posing with it. She didn't text back, but a few hours later my 16 year old daughter asked if she'd left anything in the dryer. FML

#20539833
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22663) - you deserved it (49026)

On 03/11/2013 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML

#20536957
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39839) - you deserved it (9231)

On 03/09/2013 at 12:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Pakistan

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

#20543184
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18253) - you deserved it (35490)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:52am - health - by jen (woman) - United States

Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he didn't trust himself not to cheat on me. What? FML

#20526676
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36459) - you deserved it (3731)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

#20542468
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39932) - you deserved it (3891)

On 03/13/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, being too poor to buy makeup, I walked into Macy's and "tested" some products out, just so I could look nice for my job interview. FML

#20541897
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38358) - you deserved it (4541)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have. It's a small teddy bear on my leg with my parents' names on it. My workplace has no problems with tattoos, but my boss said it was "unoriginal and lame." It's a memorial tattoo; my parents died last year. FML

#20560852
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51294) - you deserved it (3226)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:54am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

#20560035
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40269) - you deserved it (6850)

On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML

#20538233
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47713) - you deserved it (4637)

On 03/10/2013 at 2:50pm - love - by ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall (woman) - Cyprus (Nicosia)

Today, I woke up to discover that the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML

#20535419
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17004) - you deserved it (54894)

On 03/08/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by WeHitTurbulence (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

#20555936
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35502) - you deserved it (8994)

On 03/23/2013 at 1:44am - love - by SierraDiaz2097 - United States (Mississippi)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: